Rob's stuff

2009-08-27T19:56:00.005-04:00

MANIC MOMMIES

My darling wife is a web superstar!
She is a big fan of the Manic Mommies podcast and called to tell them so. They played the call on the most recent episode which can be heard here. She appears about 40 seconds in. This is the first time she's appeared on a radio-like show since 1988 when she called in a radio show and won Bon Jovi tickets!

2009-08-06T08:50:00.003-04:00

THE LAKE GEORGE ODYSSEY
part three: Wednesday

Another fitful night; the raccoons were chewing up the garbage cans right outside our room. But we got up and went to the mechanic to see if they actually got our van and left us with a loaner. The lot was full of cars and trucks, but there was a Subaru Outback right out in front and were very happy. It looked nice and big and in great condition. We went in to talk to the guy and he told us the Outback was his. Oh. Our car was around the corner. It was a 1989 Pontaic 6000. It's a four-door with a trunk and an engine that seems to work, so I shouldn't complain, but we are. It's a crummy little car, it's filthy and it smells. It's got A/C and a radio, so that's good. It's just that we feel so screwed over that we deserve a decent car. We were told three times that the transmission was done and totally fine and then we break down up in the mountains with no cell service and have to load our family into a stranger's car to get to any civilization. The least they can do is give us a station wagon from the 90's.

2009-08-04T19:35:00.001-04:00

THE LAKE GEORGE ODYSSEY
part two: Tuesday

We slept poorly and woke early. We got the kids out to camp and borrowed a car to drive out to the mechanic’s place. We told him who we were and what was up. He explained that he was booked until next Tuesday and he doesn’t deal with transmissions anyway. We asked him what we should do. He said the folks who worked on our transmission have to come and get it and supply us with a rental car. Unfortunately, it is racing season and he did not know if we would be able to rent a car at all. So we drove 20 miles to Ticonderoga, the nearest place with reliable cell phone service, and all the rental places we called up here require the car to be returned up here, which does us no good. Then we called the mechanic back home and told them what happened. They apologized up and down and said they’d arrange for a tow truck to drive up to Lake George from Long Island, with a loaner car on the back. We got a message that the truck was on its way and would be up at the mechanic’s sometime tonight. They’d drop off the loaner and bring the van back home and have it fixed by the beginning of next week. The amazing mechanic up here is so nice; he is not charging us any storage fees and has agreed to let the tow truck guy call him at home when he arrives this evening and he will go meet the truck at his shop to arrange the trade. He even offered us a ride into town with his wife if we needed it. This all, of course, took place over multiple hours, through multiple messages and return calls, which were made with Kat’s head leaning against a flagpole, in the blazing hot sun, in the only place on campus where Verizon cell phone service works.

If we’re lucky, we’ll wake up tomorrow, drive to the mechanic and pick up our shiny new rental car to use for the rest of the trip. And since things always go our way, I have full confidence.

2009-08-04T11:11:00.002-04:00

THE LAKE GEORGE ODYSSEY
part one: Monday

Our Honda Odyssey has a rich and colorful history, of which I have previously blogged. Recently, the transmission died and basically had to be replaced. It cost a lot and our van has 120,000 miles on it. Ever optimistic, we got the work done. A few days after we got the car back, it started showing signs of transmission problems. We brought it back to the shop and it was repaired again, whatever that means. A few weeks after THAT, we brought the van in for an oil change. While the car was in the shop, we mentioned that there was still something wrong with the transmission. It was making weird noises and shifting very hard. The shop assured us that new transmissions sometimes do that and not to worry. We told them we were about to embark on a trip upstate, somewhere in the neighborhood of 250 miles each way. He assured us again not to worry. (See where this is going yet?)

Monday morning, we loaded up the van with food, luggage and family and headed north. We were still a little cautious with the transmission and tried to be nice to it by keeping the RPMs down and ignoring all the weird whining noises and hard shifts. That plan worked perfectly until about six hours into the trip, 4:30pm. We had just gotten off the Northway when we decided to switch drivers. I pulled over and the car stalled out. It restarted right away but it got us very nervous. There is NO cell phone service up where we were, nor where we were headed. There’s not much of anything, really. We continued driving. About five minutes later the gas pedal refused to do anything but rev the engine. It was like the car was in neutral when it wasn’t. Freaking out, we pulled over and shut the car off. We started it up again and immediately the engine light came on. The accelerator continued to refuse to live up to its name. I looked up the engine light in the manual and it mentioned several times in different fonts and sizes that continuing to drive the car when the light was on could cause serious damage. So we pulled over and looked at each other. “What do we do now?” we each said to the other. Then we each said it again. We were on the side of the road on 9N, about to drive up the twisty, turny road up the mountain, through the dense forest. As I mentioned, there is no cell phone service up there. Luckily the car was jammed with food, just in case we had to camp out there. But we had family waiting for us with no way to let them know what was happening, and we had no way to call a tow truck or AAA or anyone.

We decided to flag down a car and try to get a ride up to the cottage where we were to stay for the week and where our family was waiting. We waved down a wonderful man named Paul who offered to take us all up to our destination. We piled in and he drove us the 8 miles to the cottage, wished us luck and went off to visit his brother in Ticonderoga to drop off the fishing lures his brother had ordered and which came in early, apparently to Paul’s house, not Paul’s brother’s house, and would he be surprised! Because Paul hadn’t told his brother he was coming, Hopefully they’d be able to get some fishing in that day!

Anyway, we drove to a neighbor’s house one town over, who had a land line. It was 5:30pm. I called AAA and was told a tow truck would be there in 30 minutes; 6:00pm. My father in law and I drove down to the van to wait. 6:00 came and went. At 6:30pm, we decided one of us should go back and call AAA again. As we were about to do this, the neighbor who had let us use the phone drove up and said AAA called and it’s gonna be awhile. We had no idea how long a while was, so my father in law loaded up his car with all our food, clothing and games and whatnot and brought them back to the cottage. He came back a little while later and we continued to wait. Every time we heard a car coming around the corner, we'd crane our necks and sink back down when a car drove past us. Every once in a while we'd hear a low rumble and become convinced it was the truck, only to find a motorcycle gang. This happened over and over again in between stretches of silence. It is really, really quiet up in the mountains. Sometimes I just sat in the sun, listening to the noisy silence of the bugs buzzing around. Sometimes I pawed through the CDs in the car to find something to read. Finally I remembered the car has a radio and found a station to listen to. Around 7:30pm, a flat bed tow truck came screaming around the bend, passed me, and slammed on the brakes. He backed up until we were face-to-face.
“Just passin’ through, or are you the guy I called for?” I asked.
“Just passing through. What’s the problem?”
I told him the whole story and he said, “Well, as long as you called somebody already…” and drove away.

The sun started to go down and it began to get cold. I began to worry. Just then the real tow guy came along. It was close to 8:00pm. He loaded up the van and took it to a little place just a few miles north of where we were staying. I left a note and we went back to the cottage just in time to pick at the scraps from the dinner we had missed. I shouldn’t say that. There was plenty of food and it was all very good. Tomorrow we find out what we can do and how we're getting home.

2009-07-29T22:11:00.003-04:00

2009-07-28T21:11:00.002-04:00

SHATNER vs. PALIN

This is priceless!

2009-07-23T21:12:00.002-04:00

MOUSE(?) IN THE HOUSE

This little guy suddenly appeared in a laundry pile this evening. He freaked the living guts out of my wife and son, but my daughter and I were curious as hell. Plus we thought he was really freakin cute! He was relatively easy to catch, but once I did catch it, I couldn't figure out what it was! It looks like a teeny gerbil. I thought it was a mouse, but it's way too short to be a regular mouse. We've had a mouse in the house before and it was much longer. This guy was round. I looked online but I can't figure out what it is for sure. I gave it a little plastic CD container to use as a shelter, since it's raining out right now, and I put it outside. Really weird.

2009-07-15T19:11:00.004-04:00

CD BUBBLE
When you buy a stack of recordable DVDs or CDs, there's always one clear disc on the top to protect the top disc. Apparently, if you take that clear plastic disc and melt it just the right way, you can blow on it and make a kind of bubble. I experimented with it today at "work" with my summer assistant. On the disc you can see 3 other attempts that failed. We also tried on two other discs so this was something like the 12th try. We were very happy.

2009-06-27T13:35:00.003-04:00

2009-06-03T13:07:00.009-04:00

CAR TROUBLES

We have two cars: a minivan and a sedan.
Recently, our minivan started making an odd noise. Sounded like a transmission problem, so we brought into the shop. They said that it was, indeed, a transmission problem and they'd have to practically replace it. It was going to cost $4000. So we have this 6-year-old minivan with 120,000 miles on it. Is it worth replacing or fixing it? We hemmed and hawed for almost a full day and decided to go ahead and fix it. Now, keep in mind, this minivan has been in 5 major accidents in six years. It's hit ambulances, telephone poles, other cars, you name it. It's been rebuilt so many times it's ridiculous.
Several days later, the van's done. We're down $4000, but the van's fixed.

About a week later, my wife woke up sick. I decided to take the day off work and take the kids to school. While the kids were at school, I decided to go into work for an hour or so, just to catch up on some stuff. I took the minivan because I needed to take some equipment home and I needed the room. At about a third of the way to work I felt a bump. I figured I ran over something so I looked in the rearview mirror. There I saw a tan sedan fishtailing all over the highway, swerving from lane to lane. I tried my best to get away from the car, but it slammed into my rear side panel and pushed me into a tailspin across all three lanes of highway traffic. I bounced off the concrete divider and came to rest facing the wrong way on the highway. Luckily, I was now on the shoulder and nobody else hit me. My car had a damaged rear bumper, a huge dent on the side, and the side sliding door couldn't open because of the deformation. One tire was flat and the other one sat on a broken axle. The other car was front-first into the divider, totally smushed. The driver was unharmed as was I. According to a witness and police report, the driver had been driving erratically for several miles. She kept dozing off and she eventually drifted into my lane and tapped me. This woke her up and she freaked out and swerved the car and lost control. So my sick wife had to come get me. Of course, we were now tying up traffic so it took her forever to get there. But she did and we followed the tow truck to the repair shop and then went and picked up a rental car. This all happened on a Friday, so we had to wait over the weekend to find out if the appriaser from the insurance company was going to total the van or not. We spent the weekend shopping for cars, just in case.
Eventually we got the word that the van was not going to be totalled and it would cost $5000 to fix, $500 out of our pocket. My wife had become convinced that the car was cursed. It had now been one major accident every year of its life and it would not die.

We kept calling to check on the van and when it would be done. Things were going slowly at the repair shop because the suppliers kept sending the wrong parts. Then they sent a pair of tires and during the wheel alignment they realized one of the pair was not the correct kind of tire, so they had to remove it and order another one. It was finally done almost a week after they said it would be done. The repair guy told my wife something to the effect of, "I had to say this, but your car is weird. I've never had so many problems with one car before. It's like it's cursed or something." Great.

The day after we got the van back, I was off to work in my car, the sedan. I decided to take the Ocean Parkway. For those who don't know, the Ocean Parkway runs along the bottom of Long Island for something like 20 miles straight with no major exits. It's right by the shore and there's rarely much traffic. As soon as I got on the Parkway, I heard an odd noise and another driver waved to me to pull over. I had a flat tire. No big deal. I can change a flat. I jacked it up, pulled off nut #1, nut #2, nut #3...
And the fourth one was stuck. I kept at and it finally loosened. I was able to turn it easily. But it juts kept turning, never getting closer to coming out. Finally I had to call AAA to come get me. The guy got there, tried the same things I did, and went, "huh, that's weird." Yeah, thanks. Apparently the stud came loose from its moorings and was just spinning, not letting the tire come off. So the repair guy went to his truck, pulled out a 3-foot sledge hammer and commences to whacking on the stud. It finally broke in half and the flat was able to come off. But the other half of the stud was now rattling around inside the brake system. After about another 15 minutes of fiddling with fingers and screwdrivers, he finally got it out and was able to put on the spare tire...which began to hiss. Except then it stopped hissing, and when the repair guy filled it up again, it didn't hiss anymore. Nothing's worse than intermittent problems. But he put the spare on and sent me on my way. I was able to drive to work and drop the car off at the tire place. The tire place called about 4 hours later: "Man, we put this car up and the lift and we're opening up a can of worms on this thing." So the wheel needed to be replaced, the brakes fixed, the stud replaced and I also had a bubble in my brake fluid hose, like an anurysm. So luckily we caught that one before I lost my brakes, huh? What I had originally imagined being an $80 tire replacement turned into an $800 major project and left me car-less for another 48 hours. Luckily I was able to borrow cars from the parents and in-laws. Thanks, guys.

It's now been almost a week and no experts have had to look at either of our cars. I keep calling the insurance company to find out when the other driver's insurance is going to pay for the $500 deductable. They haven't claimed responsibility yet and my insurance company can't get in touch with the other driver. So it looks like they're playing hard to get.

My Dad's one-month-old, new car just broke down a coupla days ago. It's starting to get a little too "The Day the Earth Stood Still" for me, to be honest.

2009-05-30T00:26:00.003-04:00

UP
I just saw the latest Pixar masterpiece UP. I was totally ready for it to be mediocre. That is, Pixar Mediocre, which is ten times better than everything else. No, this was a good one and there's nothing like Pixar Good. I can't say it was absolutely perfect, but it was as close as anyone can expect. The 3D was superfluous, but it added a little intensity to the whole height thing.

Without giving anything away, I'll say it was worthy of its PG rating. It was pretty adult, both in action/violence and emotional intensity. I'm not ashamed to say I cried three times.

So go see Up. Take your parents. Take your kids if you think they can handle it. But do yourself a favor and see it. Afer I saw Coraline, I was convinced that it would win best animated feature next Oscar season. Now, I don't believe it will. Coraline was a hugely impressive feat because of its stop-motion technique. It was also a great film. But if you ask me right now, I'll say Up was better.

2009-04-22T21:34:00.004-04:00

SPAGHETTIDOGS

My brother sent me a link to some weird Russian site that featured the unholy merging of frankfurters and spaghetti. That link is HERE.

I decided to delve into the world of "spaghettidogs" (my phrase, but feel free to use it). See the results HERE.

2009-04-21T22:32:00.003-04:00

NATURE vs MAN X 2

Tonight I discovered, by accident, two amazing new series:

STREET MONKEYS
and
LIFE WITHOUT PEOPLE

Street Monkeys is a reality show on Smithsonian Channel, following two tribes of monkeys, whose habitat is being destroyed and who must learn to live amongst the world of humans. It's so simple and so amazing. Did you know monkeys are really similar to people? Me too, but it's still fascinating.

Life Without People is a TV series version, on the History Channel, of the almost-great book, The World Without Us. Basically it explores what what would happen to all aspects of the world if humans were to simply vanish.

Both great shows so check em out.

2009-04-19T21:18:00.002-04:00

WORDS and PICTURES

There are a few simple do's and don'ts when it come's to apostrophe's. If you can't keep them straight, just DON'T USE THEM!!!!! I'd much rather see a missing apostrophe than too many. Just like spiders, we need them around, but we don't need to see them everywhere we look!

We just saw Shrek 2 the other day and at one point there's a sign on the newly married ogres' property that says "CAUTION: OGRE'S." Now, it's hand-painted so maybe the director's thought was that they're just ogres and made the sign themselves and they'd probably misspell it. I can dig it. Well, not really. It bugs the hell out of me.

Also, why do AOL and YAHOO and every other website feel the need to have a "do's and don'ts" headline every other month? You know, like "Spring fashion do's and don'ts." THERE SHOULD NOT BE AN APOSTROPHE IN "DO'S"!!!!! AND YET, EVERY SINGLE PERSON DOES IT! This makes me absolutely mental! I mean, there you are, using an apostrophe to indicate plurality in ONE HALF of the phrase....AND NOT THE OTHER! Why would you not say "Do's and Don't's?" I mean, at least be consistent!

"Well, Rob, you see, the apostrophe is there to indicate that the word is pronounced "dooz" and not "doss", like the old computer operating system. Well to that I say, "screw you." Some words don't look like they sound. Get used to it. Use context and figure it out. The correct spelling is "Dos and Don'ts." And why the hell are you using this god-awful phrase anyway? It's like "Spring has Sprung" or "Me three!" I don't think most people understand those are jokes anymore. Man!
Please see this wonderful blog. It's painful and wonderful all at the same time.

OK, enough hatin'. Here's something I love. It's the new ad for an HBO vampire series called True Blood. I like the show a lot but even if I didn't, I'd groove heavily on this ad:

When I saw it in a magazine this week I saw a blood spatter on a black background. I looked and looked, knowing there was a hidden image in there somewhere, but I couldn't make it out. Finally I saw it and now I can't NOT see it. Very well done in my opinion.

2009-04-10T17:51:00.005-04:00

GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT, THROUGH AND THROUGH

It's no secret that I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to the English language. I get really annoyed when people use "good" instead of "well." The word "good" is an adjective, while "well" is an adverb. One does something well. "Well" describes the doing, a verb. A dinner can be good. "Good" describes the dinner, a noun. Although a dinner can be prepared well, the dinner itself is good, unless it is "well-done." A steak may be cooked through or "well-done" and prepared well, but the steak and the dinner themselves may be described as "good." Simple enough, right?

When people misuse words or punctuation in common speaking or casual letter-writing, my ire is minimal. It's when professionals mangle the language (or "manglage") that I get mad enough to tell you people.

Last year we ordered my son a cute bedsheet/pillowcase set from COMPANY KIDS which is owned by THE COMPANY STORE. The sheet's design is a pattern of generic superheroes and comic book sound effects. The package arrived. We unpacked it, washed it and put it in his bed. Only then did we see the problem:
(click to see bigger images)

In two instances they misused the word "threw" instead of the word "through."
I pondered it for a while. We couldn't return it since it was already washed, but even if we did return it, my son had already seen it and enjoyed it. I decided to give it a shot, and tell the company about their defective product. Maybe they'd reimburse me. At the very least I wanted them to pull the item.

So I went on their website and used their online form to send them a question. I told them about the error and asked what could be done about it. I didn't give my name, my order number...nothing. I got a response the next day saying that because my 90 days were up, I couldn't return it.

HUH? It WASN'T 90 days and how would they even know if it was? I didn't give my name or order information. Now I was determined to get some results, now that they'd dismissed me out of hand. I wrote back, giving all my information this time. The next response I got from the company was this:

"Thank you for your inquiry. They are spelled that way because it is a cartoon character and that is the way they are.”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? First they blew me off and now they're giving me attitude, like I'M the one in the wrong? We Googled the company to find their head office contact information. We wrote up a letter to their CEO. An excerpt of that letter is below:

This is a product for children. You are a company that caters to children. To say that an obvious misuse of a word is fine because it’s a cartoon character is unacceptable. This is not a playful misspelling or a pun; this is a mistake. The wrong word is used. This isn’t “Sooperman” or “Kid’z Korner.” This is a blatant error.

My son likes the design of this item, and we have explained about the misspellings. However, I feel that this product is defective and I would like a refund, or a credit towards a future purchase. We have always been happy with your products in the past. If I cannot get my money back for this item, I understand. My greater concern is other children getting this set and growing up using the wrong word because they sleep next to a grammatical error that nobody cares enough to fix. I am an educator and I know first-hand that our children are exposed to enough misspellings and bad punctuation by people who don’t know any better, without having The Company Store telling children that it cares so little about them that it would knowingly sell written materials with multiple errors. This item needs to be pulled until you have fixed the problem.

Additionally, in researching your company in an effort to find out to whom to write, I examined your website at http://www.hanoverdirect.com/. Please be aware that on the front page you have a title listing “Our Brand’s”. This, too, is incorrect. Your “brands” are plural, and do not need an apostrophe. You are, however, clearly in need of an editor.

A few weeks after that letter went out we received a phone call from Company Kids thanking us for pointing out the error and apologizing for it. A few weeks after that we received a credit for the sheets. So in the end we got to keep the sheets AND got our money back. If you go to the Company Kids' website the design is still there, however. Apparently you can view the pattern in detail. If you know what to look for, you can see the misspellings are still on the sheets they are selling. So we won the battle but not the war. Not yet, anyway.

2009-04-01T11:31:00.006-04:00

I did some more watercolor/ink thingies this month. They're HERE.
Last time I used a Sharpie. This time I used india ink.

2009-03-29T14:09:00.005-04:00

I was playing with Garageband this weekend and came up with two songs:
Tennessee Nights (a country melody in search of a song)
and
Glamboy (a 70's-style hard rock song in search of lyrics)

Enjoy!

2009-02-25T08:39:00.003-05:00

NEIL YOUNG

Q: How awesome is Neil Young?
A: Really awesome!

This is a man who will not burn out or fade away. He's been making music for 40 years and constantly challenging himself and his audience. He put out a rockabilly album, an album of feedback, an instrumental album, a rock opera, he's directed movies, written books, started Farm Aid, is working on a prototype electric car, has an autistic kid and began a charity for that affliction, and continues to make music at an alarming rate while digging through his archives and releasing old material as well as new.

He just released a new single and video called FORK IN THE ROAD and it's great. Find it HERE

2009-02-23T16:32:00.003-05:00

I started diddling around with some ink and watercolors a month ago or so. Here's what I came up with:

IMAGINARY PORTRAITS VOLUME ONE

It's also under the Question Mark on my site's home page.

2009-02-17T09:00:00.002-05:00

THE OSCARS

When I was younger I watched all the big awards shows (except the Tonys). Now that I'm older, I've lost touch with the music scene and the "MTV generation" is unrecognizable to me. I also watch a lot less TV than I used to, so the Emmys hold no interest for me. That leave me with the Oscars. I still love movies.

Here are my thoughts for this year:

ACTOR
Richard Jenkins. THE VISITOR was a small little film with basically only four roles. It was good, but not great. Richard Jenkins was very good and subtle in the film but I merely thought he did his job well. I don't think he went above and beyond, nor did the film really give him an opportunity to.

Frank Langella. FROST/NIXON, again, was good but not great. The reverse of THE VISITOR, FROST/NIXON gave Frank Langella a meaty role to tackle. He lumbered and hurumphed throughout the whole thing and I felt it was a bit forced and cartoonish.

Sean Penn. Harvey Milk may have been an over-the-top gay Jew from New York in real life, but seeing Sean Penn be that way for over two hours was a bit grating. He threw himself into the part, but I always felt he was acting.

Brad Pitt. I think Brad Pitt is an underrated actor. Just see 12 Monkeys or Fight Clubfor an example of how good he can be. This wasn't one of his most impressive acting jobs. Like Jenkins, it was fine.

Mickey Rourke. Looking at all the other actors, you'd think nothing could impress me. THE WRESTLER impressed me in a number of ways, most of all Mickey Rourke's performance. If he doesn't win, it'll be a tragedy. This was a small movie like THE VISITOR, but there was nothing showy or boring about the lead role. Rourke was subtle and heartfelt and I believed every word he spoke and every movement he made. A truly award-worthy performance

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Josh Brolin. Nothing noteworthy about his performance in MILK. If anything, his drunk scene was scorn-worthy. He wasn't actually BAD, and I've seen him do great things in other movies, but this just wasn't his best work by a long shot.

Robert Downey Jr. Once again, a great actor taking on a challenging role in TROPIC THUNDER. But after all, it's a silly comedy and Downey's character is a one-joke role. He pretends he's black. OK, fine, no problem. But a better job than all the other supporting actors in every other movie this year? Please.

Philip Seymour Hoffman. DOUBT was a jewel of a film and Hoffman was the best thing in it. He ran through every emotion with ease and believability. I think he's a great actor and he took this role with both hands and made it his own.

Heath Ledger. Jeez. Talk about over-rated. THE DARK KNIGHT was presented to me as the greatest superhero film ever. It wasn't. It was laughably bad in spots. It was too long. Character motivation was non-existent. And it played like it was trying to be realistic within the context of superheros, but then it went off the deep end with Dent's injuries at the end. It just didn't gel for me. Now, Heath Ledger was good in that he totally immersed himself into the Joker character and really made it something new. But it was just a crazy, over-the-top character. OK, he was fearless in his lunacy. But there was no realism to it. I never thought of him as anything but a comic book character. The big question is, "will the Academy give him the Oscar because he died and showed promise as an actor?" I hope not. No offense. He just doesn't deserve it this year.

Michael Shannon. I didn't see REVOLUTIONARY ROAD, so I can't say.

ACTRESS
Alright, this is lame, but the only movie I saw that has a lead actress nominated is DOUBT. Meryl Streep was awesome as always, but without seeing the others, I make no predictions.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams. She was good in DOUBT, but the story was good, the direction was good, the lead actors were great...I feel like she just got carried along for the Oscar ride.

Penelope Cruz. Didn't see VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA, so I can't say.

Viola Davis. She had one scene in DOUBT where she had to be upset. She cried amiably, but I wasn't blown away at all.

Taraji P. Henson. I enjoyed BENJAMIN BUTTON a lot, but the more I read about it and think about it afterwards, the more I feel manipulated by it. I'll have to see it again to judge. In any case, Taraji's performance was not awards-worthy in my book.

Marisa Tomei. Next to Mickey Rourke, Tomei's performance paled. That said, she was very believable and engaging. As someone who knows her best from MY COUSIN VINNY, this was a huge departure from that and an impressive performance. Out of all the nominees, I think Tomei gave the most of herself to her performance.

ANIMATED FEATURE
It's WALL-E, who you kidding? I'm frankly surprised it wasn't nominated for best picture.

Let's fast forward to best picture because I don't have anything intelligent to say about art direction, score, sound editing, documentary short, etc.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
Again, I loved it when I saw it, but now I have my doubts about its worthiness. I think it was good, but not an award winner.

FROST/NIXON
Another good movie, but it didn't WOW me. All it really did was make me want to see the original interviews.

MILK
MILK was a biopic and I am not a fan of biopics. People's lives can be fascinating, but they just don't have the same story arc as a fictional story. I always find these movies to be a list of things that happened, as opposed to a "story." Ray, Man in the Moon, Walk The Line... They were all done well, but felt very unsatisfying to me. MILK was no exception.

THE READER
Didn't see it, sorry.

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE.
Wow, did I want to see this one. I heard about it first from NPR and then from all around everywhere. The buzz was hot! The movie was not. Sorry, but I just didn't feel the love. It was a simple, dopey love story after all. I must say I liked the structure of the whole thing, with the questions and how he knew the answers, although some of them really really stretched plausibility. The brother's character arc was totally unconvincing. And how did he get on the show to begin with if he only knew those 12 things? My father-in-law is an intelligent, educated man who has tried half a dozen times to get on and couldn't. Then you have to get past the fastest-finger thing to actually get on the show. It was a silly fable that left me feeling nothing. I've heard that you "should" see this movie, as if it were an important film that had deep social significance. I just didn't feel it.

So my picks for Sunday night are:
MICKEY ROURKE, PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN, MERYL STREEP, MARISA TOMEI, WALL-E, oh and WALTZ WITH BASHIR for Foreign Language film, only because it's the only one I've heard of and I've heard great things about it. I have no pick for best picture. I think DOUBT and THE WRESTLER were better overall films that the ones nominated this year.

2008-12-19T17:15:00.005-05:00

Well, it's the middle of December, so I guess I'm supposed to do a 2008 wrap-up. Unfortunately, I really don't have a top 10 list of anything, so I'll just run through a couple things that stand out for me from the past year.

WALL-E
What a great movie this is. I've seen it twice; once with adults and once with children, and both times I found it to be a monumental achievement in both animation and storytelling.

THE ARRIVAL by Shaun Tan
A wordless graphic novel that tells the story of an immigrant in strange, new land. Magical and emotional.

PRESIDENT-ELECT BARACK OBAMA
I'm trying real hard not to sound naïve and cheerleader-like, but I am so excited and hopeful for a new era in this country.

CHINESE DEMOCRACY by Guns n Roses.
The first CD in 14 years from Axl Rose and his rotating band of miscreants. Is it worth the wait? Well, no. Not really. It's good…at least most of it is, but it's not a finely-crafted work of art that you might expect from such a talented lunatic. Worth listening to, but not as the culmination of 14 years of work.

I also re-read Cormac McCarthy's THE ROAD and JRR Tolkein's HOBBIT and LORD OF THE RINGS, both awe-inspiring pieces of literature. I've read other books and seen other movies, as well, but nothing that really made me sit up and take notice. I saw several movies that I liked, too, but nothing that I'd really go out of my way to recommend. BURN AFTER READING was way better than I expected. Actually, I can say I enjoyed it more that I expected, not sure if it was actually a “good” movie.

In my own world, I've had a few experiences of note that I have not blogged about, so here is a sort of purge of some stuff:

4:00AM
It was September and we were sleeping with the windows open. Around 4 in the morning I was awakened by what I thought was a female voice. We live about a half-mile in either direction from a bar, and we also get teenagers walking past our block at all hours, so it's not totally unusual to hear drunk people laughing and talking loudly near our home. I just kind of shook my head and tried to go back to sleep. Then I heard it again and it seemed to be pretty loud; yelling, not just speaking loudly. I stuck my head out the window to see if I could tell how far away it was, or which direction it was coming from.
I have, to the consternation of my wife, been the guy who goes up to people and tells them to shut up. Our neighbor down the block likes to turn his truck's radio up to top volume while he washes it. We can hear it and feel it in our house, across the street and 4 houses down. I've told him to turn it down a few times. I walked 4 blocks to a house party once to tell them to turn it down, as I could hear them loud and clear at 10pm. The list goes on and on. I'm a cranky old fart, sue me.
So anyway it sounded really close so I decided to put on my robe and step outside and find the arguing drunks to tell them to shut up. I opened my side door and it sounded like the yelling was coming from VERY close. I poked my head out and saw a van idling in the street DIRECTLY in front of my house. In the driver's seat was a woman yelling into a cell phone, her window rolled down. I could hear her voice echoing off the neighborhood.
“FUCK YOU! Who the hell do you think you ARE! DON'T YOU HANG UP ON ME MOTHERFUCKER!!”
I was in shock. Was this woman seriously pulled over in a quiet neighborhood with the window rolled down at 4 in the morning screaming obscenities at the top of her lungs?
I composed myself and took a few steps forward. “Hey! Could you take it somewhere else, please?” I called.
The woman paused for a beat, then reached down and pulled something out of her truck and threw it down at my feet. It was a newspaper.
“I wasn't throwing that at YOU,” she explained, “I was just throwing it down.”
“Alright,” I said and she drove away.
It was my newspaper delivery person. The person who delivers Newsday was the maniac. I was so furious. Anyway, I went back to sleep eventually and called Newsday the next morning to tell them what had happened. They were appropriately apologetic and that's pretty much it. No big finish, sorry.

CRAIGSLIST
I frequently check out Craigslist.com for side jobs. One-shot video jobs, mostly. One day I found someone looking for an editor and I answered the ad. I got a long, long reply explaining the deal:
This guy, Robert Green, lived in England and he was going to start a porn business. All he needed was a couple of NTSC cameras, because he was going to sell these videos to Americans. He needed someone to buy the cameras and ship them to him and then edit the resulting footage into 2-minute promos, which I would then deliver to curious parties, who would then possibly buy the raw footage. He was going to send me a check to cover the cost of the cameras. You see, he had a seller already, but the seller wouldn't ship overseas. So, Robert Green would send me a check. Excuse me, Friends University would send me a check. You see, Robert Green works at Oxford University and did some freelance work with Friends University in Kansas, and he would ask them to send his paycheck directly to me. I would deposit the check. When the check cleared, I was to wire money to the seller in Kansas, who would ship the cameras to me and then I would ship the cameras to England. All this would be covered by the initial check, with $500 left over for my troubles and a goodwill gesture.
Now, this is obviously fishy, but I couldn't find the hook. I looked it over and over and tried to figure out how this is a scam and I couldn't do it. The amount of money he was talking about for editing this footage was life-changing. It seemed too good to be true. I kept asking the guy, “Why won't he ship overseas?” “Why can't you find an NTSC camera in England?” “Why won't you send me a check from yourself?” “Why don't you send the Friends check to the seller directly?”, etc.
He had answers for all these questions. I finally said, “OK, send me the check.” I figured, hey, if he wants to send me a check and wait for it to clear, what have I got to lose?
I finally found out what I had to lose. I found the scheme on the internet. What happens is that I get a fake check and deposit it. The bank thinks it's real and lets it clear. The money is now in my account. I send that money to the “seller” who most likely keeps it. Or maybe he really does send me cameras that I ship to England. Either way, I spend the money. Months later, someone at the bank finds out it's a fake check and I am now responsible for that money.
I get the check a day or two later. It's obviously fake. It's the same kind of check I get every payday. It's got a background pattern and perforations and everything. What it does NOT have, however, is microprinting or a watermark, which the check claims to have. It is also obviously printed on regular inkjet printer. The quality is just not good. I called Friends University and they pretty much said, “Yeah, we've gotten about two dozen of those in the last month. Just throw it out.”
I tried to think of ways to screw with this guy in England. I've heard of all these tricks, like sending them packages COD but they're filled with bricks, and stuff like that. But all of those schemes would cost me money, however small amount. I just kept stringing him along: “Nope, couldn't get to the bank today.” “No, today is Halloween and the banks are closed on Halloween in America.” “I was sick today.” “It's Election Day this week and there's riots all over town and the street to the bank was closed.” And so on.
Finally I just told him to fuck off and that I was stringing him along but got bored and now I'm done and I never heard back from him.

UNTIL

A month or so later, I was cruising Craigslist and I found an editing gig. I replied and got a long, long response from this guy named Robert Green who needed my help. I emailed him back and called him all sorts of names again. No big finish once again, sorry.

CRAIGSLIST 2
I was cruising Craigslist, looking for odd jobs (I do that, have I mentioned?). I came across a company looking for an editor. I replied and they responded back that they were an expanding company with many arms and they needed all kinds of people; artists, writers, musicians, videographers… I emailed the woman that I would like to come in for an interview, and that I already have a fulltime job and a wife and two kids, just so there's no surprises. She gave me a phone number to call. I called and got a voicemail. I left a message. I called again the next day and left another. No response. I gave up. Then I got an email confirming my interview. Da hell? I emailed her back and straightened it out with her. It seems he just has a different opinion of the definition of “confirm” than I do. Anyway.
I drove to the address provided and found myself in front of a kind of gardening store. There was a lot of hydroponic equipment and books. I went in and was greeted by a long-haired, bearded dude. I told him I was looking for this woman whom I'll call “C” though in real life she told me her full name. He said OK and went in the back to get her. Next, a woman walked up front and said Hi. I said, “Hi. Are you 'C'?” The woman kind of laughed and said, “No, when you meet her you'll see the difference” and walked away.
What the hell? What was THAT supposed to mean!?! The bearded dude came back and told me to go down the hall to find her door. As he said this, a woman popped her head out of her room and right back in. He said, “You see that woman who just popped out? That's her.”
Alrighty. I went to her office to find her smoking and leaning halfway out an outside door while talking on her phone. When she was done she came up to me to tell me how EXCITED she was to have me there, and that I have kids. Um…ok…. There were chairs all around us, but we stood, face to face the whole time. She told me, excitedly about all the talent that they're acquiring and how amazing this is going to be and vaguely explained that there are dozens of companies all involved under this plant store's flag. The guy who owns this all is a chemist, an inventor, a photographer and an alchemist. I interrupted and basically said, “OK, so what do you want ME to do?” She explained how they will be producing videos and podcasts and commercials for the web for all these websites that this company owns. OK, sounds reasonable. She told me I might have to travel and do I have any kids. I stared at her. “Yes. Two.” She went on about how great that was. We went over some more particulars and then everything changed.
I could feel the mood change in the room. She got quieter and told me that she wanted to make sure that I was on the same mindset as the company. Uh Oh. She went into non-specific things about worldwide horrors and politics and clear air and such. Okkaaayyy… I figured, Ok, they're a bunch of hippies and want to make sure I can sympathize. Fine. Then she goes on to say how there's no such thing as Global Warming! She stared at me with big eyes, waiting for a reaction. She told me that we're being lied to and really the Earth is moving towards a dark plane and THAT'S what's causing all the global problems of late. Again, the big eyes.
I'm sure I was smirking, but I was trying to play it cool. She went on about how we've been brainwashed to believe in Heaven and Hell, when in reality they don't exist! We are ALL divine beings! Oh good lord…
She handed me her iPhone and told me to watch this video. I did. It was a 10 minute video on Youtube. The first 2 minutes went on to describe how galaxies are formed. Then it went on to describe how the Earth travels in cycles through the horizon line of the Milky Way and that causes global warming and tidal waves, etc. Oh geez.
“OK, but…what does this have to do with hydroponics?”
“Because,” she told me, “we are going to have to learn to survive on our own!”
She asked me if I understood. I told her I understood what she was saying and that if she had video for me to edit, I'd certainly take a look at it. As she walked me out she continued to hammer home the fact that global warming is not man-made and that we won't be flooded out if the polar caps melt. She explained (with wild enthusiasm) that if you take a glass of water and put an ice cube into it, and the cube melts, the glass doesn't overflow. Ice takes up the same mass as water. Ergo, no floods. I decided not to get into the fact that millions of tons of glacial ice and permafrost are not floating in water. She went on to say that the Mayan culture was incredibly technologically advanced and then they were gone, and only now are we back up to speed. That was proof that the whole thing is cyclical. Again, I decided not to point out the fact that they killed each other regularly in ritual sacrifices. She never asked me to take an oath or swear an allegiance to anything or anything definitive like that. I would not be willing to do that, but hell, I'll edit videos for them.
As we stood by our cars, she continued to say how teenagers kill themselves so much because parents don't understand that they're full of hormones and just assume they're assholes. Also, last year, there were tsunamis in Asia and mudslides in South America AT THE SAME TIME. How can that be? Well, obviously it's because the whole earth is passing through the center plane of the galaxy…or something.
We said our goodbyes and I left. That night I got an email from “C” with several links to youtube clips and other websites. I actually found this one very interesting:

But the rest were just wacky. Then I realized most of this philosophy comes from the Ramtha movement, which is a kind of new-age quasi-cultish society that produced the “What the Bleep Do We Know?” series of films, which have been widely discredited as pseudoscience and quasireligion. Take a look:

So, in January, I expect to have some footage to begin editing. Should be interesting.

2008-11-05T20:45:00.003-05:00

YES WE DID

What hasn't been said already? We've all been following the polls, and I felt in my gut that it was going to happen, but when it did...wow. You have to realize that he didn't just win a coin flip, he overwhelmingly won the support of most of the people of this country. That's a real, honest win.
I know I sound like a naive dreamer, but I believe we are in for a real change of course. Some have said this marks the end of racism in this country. I don't think that's true. But holy cow, does it take a big bite out of it. When I stop to think of the fact that I helped elect the first black president, I get overwhelmed. When I think of my children reading about this in history books and knowing they were there when Mommy and Daddy pulled the lever, I am in awe. On the other hand, I am thrilled to know that my kids don't even know what a big deal this is. I told my 6 year old that Obama is the first black president ever! He looked confused and then asked me, "You mean...because he has a brown face?" I said yes and he just kind of shrugged and said, "...alright." He just doesn't recognize that skin color is of any significance. How can you not be moved by that?

Yes, Barack Obama is a politician. I know he can't do everything. And I know that even though Jimmy Carter told us all to use the metric system and use alternative fuel sources, he was run out of town on a rail. But I believe with all my heart that Obama will be the uniter that George W Bush claimed to be. I think he will make his supporters proud and bring his detractors over to his side over time. I think his family will make us proud and I think history will look on him as the Roosevelt that saved the country from Hoover.

2008-10-04T12:46:00.002-04:00

Today, in the paper, it was mentioned in the obituary section, that George "Wydell" Jones died on Saturday, October 4th. He was the songwriter of Rama Lama Ding Dong by The Edsels.
Sad for his family, sure, but the song and the band don't really mean much to me. I thought it was amusing to see that he's remembered for "writing Rama Lama Ding Dong." His big legacy was that he strung nonsenisical sounds together for a song. I mean, more power to him. I have no hate for him, just doesn't really register on my radar.

UNTIL

Today, in the Sunday Times crossword puzzle, which actually comes out on Saturdays, 125 down is "Rama Lama Ding Dong" singers, with "the".

How bizarre is that? It's not like Elvis was mentioned in two places at once. Big deal, he's incredibly well known. But for the Edsels to be in the times crossword puzzle the same day their songwriter died is really freaky in my book.

2008-09-11T21:22:00.003-04:00

Nice Guys Finish.......Last?

Firstly, I like this picture. I like how Mccain's mic is round and white, just like him, and Obama's is long and black, just like him. Jes' sayin'.

One of the many things I like about Obama is that he really and truly wants to change the way things are done. I read an interview and article about him back before he was running for president; back when he was saying that he wouldn't run, in fact. It was several years ago and he laid out everything that was wrong with politics and what his philosophy was. It was one of honesty and caring. It was about listening to your opponents respectfully and explaining your opinion with respect to your opponents, always realizing that there is always an opportunity to learn and collect new ideas.

Another thing is his refusal to hit below the belt. This may also be his downfall. The Republicans are hitting so far below the belt it's nauseating. They are spinning so many lies and diverting people with such crap it would be laughable if half the country weren't actually buying it.

Obama comes out and says we've got to change this country around from what it has become these last four years. OK, not exactly groundbreaking, but effective. He has shown his ability and desire to do good. He began to gain huge popularity because people liked what he wanted to do. McCain painted him as arrogant and messianic. They actually painted his popularity as a bad thing. Can you imagine? They told the people, "You like him too much." We should have tried that trick with Reagan back in 1980...remember, back when every election didn't hinge on one goddamn county in one goddamn state?

Obama was raised by a poor, single mom. He was taught to give and help people. He became a community organizer, helping communities help themselves and rise out of dispair. McCain's campaign stresses "service," yet at the RNC, Palin and Giulinai both openly mocked Obama's community activism. The sight of these rich white people laughing at the idea of communities in desperation trying to take back their lives...ugh, it just makes me fucking ill.

He rose up and went to Yale. McCain says he's an elitist, out of touch with regular folk. Really? It's now a bad thing to smart and popular? It's not elitist to be really smart and intellectual. It's what you want in a president; someone smarter than you!

McCain comes out and paints himself as an agent for change. He says only he and Sarah Palin are qualified to make actual change and that Obama is offering more of the same. We've had 8 years of disasterous Republican rule after 8 years of fantastic Democratic rule. How would it be change if we kept Republicans in? Why would we invite in the very people who wreaked so much havoc in the first place? Well, McCain says he's different. Different-er than Obama? Seriously? And with that VP of yours? The God-crazy, book-banning, prayer-in-schooling, war-mongering, pro-life, abstinence-teaching, creationist? She's DIFFERENT??!? She is the Rightest Wingnut in the freaking world! That is NOT change!

She is playing every side of the gender card. Remember when Hillary was running and getting pummeled and all the Republicans said, "We're not gonna treat you nicely just because you're a girl!" Now that Palin's in the same spot, the Republicans are saying "You're picking on her just because she's a girl!" Goddamn hypocrites.

She out and out lied when she said she rejected the pork spending for her Road To Nowhere. Just up and lied. She said she sold the jet she inherited from her former governor on Ebay for a profit. No, she sold it to a private buyer and lost money. The Republicans just say whatever they want, regardless of the facts, and people just accept it. It's staggering. In referring to the Republicans' false call for change, Obama said

"You know, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig." ... "You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called 'change,' it's still gonna stink after eight years. We've had enough of the same old thing! It's time to bring about real change to Washington. And that's the choice you've got in this election."

The Republicans are actually convincing people that this was a sexist slight about Palin. They want you to believe Obama would go out there and call the opponent a pig. This phrase has been used for god knows how many years. Freaking McCain HIMSELF used it to dismiss Hillary Clinton's health care plan! Same goddamn situation, but Democrats are normal enough not to see the attack spin potential in that phrase.

McCain wants to cut everyone's taxes, but his cuts would basically help the wealthiest most and poorest almost not at all. Obama's cuts would tax the wealthiest MORE and give more to the poor.

McCain's Vice President pick is Sarah Palin, who believes abstinence-only education is best and she would give no support to sex ed programs. Is she for real? Her teenage daughter got pregnant. Her life will never be the same. Maybe if she and Levi was taught to use a condom. Obviously, abstinence-only education doesn't stop kids from having sex. So both sides have basically declared family off-limits. But what do you think would have happened if one of Obama's kids was a pregnant teenager? Think McCain would stay away? Or do you think he would attack viciously? We'll never know, because it will never happen.

Speaking of which, Obama supported a grade-appropriate sex-ed program in schools, in which kindergartners would learn about "bad-touching" and "stranger danger," etc. McCain put out this unbelievably low and disgusting ad which insinuated that Obama wanted to teach Kindergarteners the best fellatio techniques. Ok, I'm exaggerating, but not much:

I mean, even McCain's campaign knows this is bullshit, meant to paint Barack Obama as a sex-crazed loony-tune.

The problem here is that Obama is playing it nice (relatively). Unlike McCain and Palin, he's not lying about his past or his present. He's not putting out ads, accusing McCain of leaving his disabled first wife for a hot young rich thing, even though he did. He's playing it cool and smart. Meanwhile the Republicans throw every piece of shit they can at him and if he dares to explain why McCain is full of shit, he's "playing defense."

Obama's in a tough spot. He's committed himself to running like a gentleman, but the opponent has a horseshoe in his glove. If Obama complains, he looks weak. If he uses McCain-type tactics against McCain, he'll have sold his soul and McCain will turn around and point and say "Look how low he fights!"

I jut hope the debates will be a replay of Nixon/Kennedy, with the young, good-looking well-spoken Democrat up against the sweaty, stammering old Republican.

This is it, people. We are in for a scary ass coupla weeks. Buckle Up.

2008-09-04T21:02:00.000-04:00

Republicans are hypocrites?!!? Who knew?