Rob's stuff

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 01:45:00 +0000

YES WE DID

What hasn't been said already? We've all been following the polls, and I felt in my gut that it was going to happen, but when it did...wow. You have to realize that he didn't just win a coin flip, he overwhelmingly won the support of most of the people of this country. That's a real, honest win.
I know I sound like a naive dreamer, but I believe we are in for a real change of course. Some have said this marks the end of racism in this country. I don't think that's true. But holy cow, does it take a big bite out of it. When I stop to think of the fact that I helped elect the first black president, I get overwhelmed. When I think of my children reading about this in history books and knowing they were there when Mommy and Daddy pulled the lever, I am in awe. On the other hand, I am thrilled to know that my kids don't even know what a big deal this is. I told my 6 year old that Obama is the first black president ever! He looked confused and then asked me, "You mean...because he has a brown face?" I said yes and he just kind of shrugged and said, "...alright." He just doesn't recognize that skin color is of any significance. How can you not be moved by that?

Yes, Barack Obama is a politician. I know he can't do everything. And I know that even though Jimmy Carter told us all to use the metric system and use alternative fuel sources, he was run out of town on a rail. But I believe with all my heart that Obama will be the uniter that George W Bush claimed to be. I think he will make his supporters proud and bring his detractors over to his side over time. I think his family will make us proud and I think history will look on him as the Roosevelt that saved the country from Hoover.

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 16:46:00 +0000

Today, in the paper, it was mentioned in the obituary section, that George "Wydell" Jones died on Saturday, October 4th. He was the songwriter of Rama Lama Ding Dong by The Edsels.
Sad for his family, sure, but the song and the band don't really mean much to me. I thought it was amusing to see that he's remembered for "writing Rama Lama Ding Dong." His big legacy was that he strung nonsenisical sounds together for a song. I mean, more power to him. I have no hate for him, just doesn't really register on my radar.

UNTIL

Today, in the Sunday Times crossword puzzle, which actually comes out on Saturdays, 125 down is "Rama Lama Ding Dong" singers, with "the".

How bizarre is that? It's not like Elvis was mentioned in two places at once. Big deal, he's incredibly well known. But for the Edsels to be in the times crossword puzzle the same day their songwriter died is really freaky in my book.

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 01:22:00 +0000

Nice Guys Finish.......Last?

Firstly, I like this picture. I like how Mccain's mic is round and white, just like him, and Obama's is long and black, just like him. Jes' sayin'.

One of the many things I like about Obama is that he really and truly wants to change the way things are done. I read an interview and article about him back before he was running for president; back when he was saying that he wouldn't run, in fact. It was several years ago and he laid out everything that was wrong with politics and what his philosophy was. It was one of honesty and caring. It was about listening to your opponents respectfully and explaining your opinion with respect to your opponents, always realizing that there is always an opportunity to learn and collect new ideas.

Another thing is his refusal to hit below the belt. This may also be his downfall. The Republicans are hitting so far below the belt it's nauseating. They are spinning so many lies and diverting people with such crap it would be laughable if half the country weren't actually buying it.

Obama comes out and says we've got to change this country around from what it has become these last four years. OK, not exactly groundbreaking, but effective. He has shown his ability and desire to do good. He began to gain huge popularity because people liked what he wanted to do. McCain painted him as arrogant and messianic. They actually painted his popularity as a bad thing. Can you imagine? They told the people, "You like him too much." We should have tried that trick with Reagan back in 1980...remember, back when every election didn't hinge on one goddamn county in one goddamn state?

Obama was raised by a poor, single mom. He was taught to give and help people. He became a community organizer, helping communities help themselves and rise out of dispair. McCain's campaign stresses "service," yet at the RNC, Palin and Giulinai both openly mocked Obama's community activism. The sight of these rich white people laughing at the idea of communities in desperation trying to take back their lives...ugh, it just makes me fucking ill.

He rose up and went to Yale. McCain says he's an elitist, out of touch with regular folk. Really? It's now a bad thing to smart and popular? It's not elitist to be really smart and intellectual. It's what you want in a president; someone smarter than you!

McCain comes out and paints himself as an agent for change. He says only he and Sarah Palin are qualified to make actual change and that Obama is offering more of the same. We've had 8 years of disasterous Republican rule after 8 years of fantastic Democratic rule. How would it be change if we kept Republicans in? Why would we invite in the very people who wreaked so much havoc in the first place? Well, McCain says he's different. Different-er than Obama? Seriously? And with that VP of yours? The God-crazy, book-banning, prayer-in-schooling, war-mongering, pro-life, abstinence-teaching, creationist? She's DIFFERENT??!? She is the Rightest Wingnut in the freaking world! That is NOT change!

She is playing every side of the gender card. Remember when Hillary was running and getting pummeled and all the Republicans said, "We're not gonna treat you nicely just because you're a girl!" Now that Palin's in the same spot, the Republicans are saying "You're picking on her just because she's a girl!" Goddamn hypocrites.

She out and out lied when she said she rejected the pork spending for her Road To Nowhere. Just up and lied. She said she sold the jet she inherited from her former governor on Ebay for a profit. No, she sold it to a private buyer and lost money. The Republicans just say whatever they want, regardless of the facts, and people just accept it. It's staggering. In referring to the Republicans' false call for change, Obama said

"You know, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig." ... "You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called 'change,' it's still gonna stink after eight years. We've had enough of the same old thing! It's time to bring about real change to Washington. And that's the choice you've got in this election."

The Republicans are actually convincing people that this was a sexist slight about Palin. They want you to believe Obama would go out there and call the opponent a pig. This phrase has been used for god knows how many years. Freaking McCain HIMSELF used it to dismiss Hillary Clinton's health care plan! Same goddamn situation, but Democrats are normal enough not to see the attack spin potential in that phrase.

McCain wants to cut everyone's taxes, but his cuts would basically help the wealthiest most and poorest almost not at all. Obama's cuts would tax the wealthiest MORE and give more to the poor.

McCain's Vice President pick is Sarah Palin, who believes abstinence-only education is best and she would give no support to sex ed programs. Is she for real? Her teenage daughter got pregnant. Her life will never be the same. Maybe if she and Levi was taught to use a condom. Obviously, abstinence-only education doesn't stop kids from having sex. So both sides have basically declared family off-limits. But what do you think would have happened if one of Obama's kids was a pregnant teenager? Think McCain would stay away? Or do you think he would attack viciously? We'll never know, because it will never happen.

Speaking of which, Obama supported a grade-appropriate sex-ed program in schools, in which kindergartners would learn about "bad-touching" and "stranger danger," etc. McCain put out this unbelievably low and disgusting ad which insinuated that Obama wanted to teach Kindergarteners the best fellatio techniques. Ok, I'm exaggerating, but not much:

I mean, even McCain's campaign knows this is bullshit, meant to paint Barack Obama as a sex-crazed loony-tune.

The problem here is that Obama is playing it nice (relatively). Unlike McCain and Palin, he's not lying about his past or his present. He's not putting out ads, accusing McCain of leaving his disabled first wife for a hot young rich thing, even though he did. He's playing it cool and smart. Meanwhile the Republicans throw every piece of shit they can at him and if he dares to explain why McCain is full of shit, he's "playing defense."

Obama's in a tough spot. He's committed himself to running like a gentleman, but the opponent has a horseshoe in his glove. If Obama complains, he looks weak. If he uses McCain-type tactics against McCain, he'll have sold his soul and McCain will turn around and point and say "Look how low he fights!"

I jut hope the debates will be a replay of Nixon/Kennedy, with the young, good-looking well-spoken Democrat up against the sweaty, stammering old Republican.

This is it, people. We are in for a scary ass coupla weeks. Buckle Up.

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 01:02:00 +0000

Republicans are hypocrites?!!? Who knew?

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 16:59:00 +0000

This is fantastic:

AN OPEN LETTER TO GOD FROM MICHAEL MOORE:

Sunday, August 31st, 2008
An Open Letter to God, from Michael Moore

Dear God,

The other night, the Rev. James Dobson's ministry asked all believers to pray for a storm on Thursday night so that the Obama acceptance speech outdoors in Denver would have to be canceled.

I see that You have answered Rev. Dobson's prayers -- except the storm You have sent to earth is not over Denver, but on its way to New Orleans! In fact, You have scheduled it to hit Louisiana at exactly the moment that George W. Bush is to deliver his speech at the Republican National Convention.

Now, heavenly Father, we all know You have a great sense of humor and impeccable timing. To send a hurricane on the third anniversary of the Katrina disaster AND right at the beginning of the Republican Convention was, at first blush, a stroke of divine irony. I don't blame You, I know You're angry that the Republicans tried to blame YOU for Katrina by calling it an "Act of God" -- when the truth was that the hurricane itself caused few casualties in New Orleans. Over a thousand people died because of the mistakes and neglect caused by humans, not You.

Some of us tried to help after Katrina hit, while Bush ate cake with McCain and twiddled his thumbs. I closed my office in New York and sent my entire staff down to New Orleans to help. I asked people on my website to contribute to the relief effort I organized -- and I ended up sending over two million dollars in donations, food, water, and supplies (collected from thousands of fans) to New Orleans while Bush's FEMA ice trucks were still driving around Maine three weeks later.

But this past Thursday night, the Washington Post reported that the Republicans had begun making plans to possibly postpone the convention. The AP had reported that there were no shelters set up in New Orleans for this storm, and that the levee repairs have not been adequate. In other words, as the great Ronald Reagan would say, "There you go again!"

So the last thing John McCain and the Republicans needed was to have a split-screen on TVs across America: one side with Bush and McCain partying in St. Paul, and on the other side of the screen, live footage of their Republican administration screwing up once again while New Orleans drowns.

So, yes, You have scared the Jesus, Mary and Joseph out of them, and more than a few million of your followers tip their hats to You.

But now it appears that You haven't been having just a little fun with Bush & Co. It appears that Hurricane Gustav is truly heading to New Orleans and the Gulf coast. We hear You, O Lord, loud and clear, just as we did when Rev. Falwell said You made 9/11 happen because of all those gays and abortions. We beseech You, O Merciful One, not to punish us again as Pat Robertson said You did by giving us Katrina because of America's "wholesale slaughter of unborn children." His sentiments were echoed by other Republicans in 2005.

So this is my plea to you: Don't do this to Louisiana again. The Republicans got your message. They are scrambling and doing the best they can to get planes, trains and buses to New Orleans so that everyone can get out. They haven't sent the entire Louisiana National Guard to Iraq this time -- they are already patrolling the city streets. And, in a nod to I don't know what, Bush's head of FEMA has named a man to help manage the federal government's response. His name is W. Michael Moore. I kid you not, heavenly Father. They have sent a man with both my name AND W's to help save the Gulf Coast.

So please God, let the storm die out at sea. It's done enough damage already. If you do this one favor for me, I promise not to invoke your name again. I'll leave that to the followers of Rev. Dobson and to those gathering this week in St. Paul.

Your faithful servant and former seminarian,

Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
MichaelMoore.com

P.S. To all of God's fellow children who are reading this, the city of New Orleans has not yet recovered from Katrina. Please click here for a list of things you can do to help our brothers and sisters on the Gulf Coast. And, if you do live along the Gulf Coast, please take all necessary safety precautions immediately.

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 19:33:00 +0000

LAST PLAY AT SHEA

New York's legendary Shea Stadium is being torn down this year. The new stadium sits directly next door to it, waiting to be used. You can almost imagine the new stadium looking at its watch.

Billy Joel announce he was going to close out the 45 year history of the stadium by playing the last ever concert there. Tickets went on sale and, predictably, sold out in about 3 nanoseconds. So they added a second show. Can you imagine? You buy tickets for the last ever concert at Shea stadium by Billy Joel, who barely ever plays anymore...and then they add another one! I was lucky enough to get tickets to the second show...that is, the REAL final show at Shea. I feel really bad for the people who went Wednesday, thinking they were buying tickets to the last show, but I was thrilled to be at the "real" one.

The night was heavy. It was hot and humid and still. We were drenched in sweat after the 15 minute walk from the subway to the stadium. We climbed up and up and up but the wind never picked up and the air never cooled.

The show started about 50 minutes late. We were simmering in our own sweat. We had heard tell of special guests at Wednesday's show: Don Henley, Tony Bennet, John Mellencamp and John Mayer. To be honest I wasn't too excited by those names and we had no idea what to expect tonight. I joked about Ozzy Osbourne or Alice Cooper. We heard rumors about Paul McCartney and Ringo, but nobody believed it.

Billy came on, looking freaking OLD. He's bald and gray and round and sweaty. He made a comment about the heat and took off with Miami 2017. The band sounded great and Billy was really giving it his all. Then he showed a badge he was wearing and announced that it was Ringo's from that first performance by the Beatles in 1964. A few songs in, he began wiping his sweaty head every 10 seconds until he asked for a wet towel and wore it on his head like an Islamic head scarf for 2 songs. I knew how hot I was and he was up there working in the lights, wearing a jacket. His face beet read, Billy pushed on, cranking out hit after hit, sounding great. The audience reacted Pavlovianly to each mention of New York or a Long Island town, but it's all part of the fun.

For New York State of Mind, Billy introduced Tony Bennet and the crowd erupted. I'm no Tony Bennet fan but I have nothing against him. Tony sang very well and seemed to energize Billy a bit.

More hits followed, along with some lesser known album cuts, to which Billy suggested people go to the bathroom now. What a self-deprecating lug he is!

Then it was time for guest #2....Garth freaking Brooks. The place erupted even more if you can believe it. I was flabbergasted. I didn't even know the guy was still alive. Anyway, he actually performed Shameless with tons of enthusiasm and I thought it was pretty darn good.

Goodnight Saigon is traditionally played with a background chorus of military servicepeople. Tonight was no different and the crowd stood and cheered when they were shown on screen. As an anti-war kind of a guy, I felt a little uncomfortable, but I do understand the concept of respecting the people who think they are trying to protect us. But when the song ended and the crowd spontaneously started chanting "USA! USA! USA!" I felt really out of place and felt the crowd missed the point of the song.

Later, Billy introduced Steven Tyler and the place almost LITERALLY erupted. The noise was deafening. Tyler launched into the fastest, most energetic rendition of Walk This Way I've ever heard. He was magnificent in his makeup and scarves. It was an outstanding performance, if a little out of place with the rest of the night. That song kicked off another hour or so of really high-energy hits that kept the crowd on its feet. We Didn't Start The Fire was visually aided by the literal collection of images describing each thing (birth control/Ho Chi Min/Richard Nixon back again), but it was fun.

A little later Roger Daltry came on out and did My Generation. Again, out of place for the show I thought, but a rousing performance ended by Billy smashing a guitar.

Finally, Billy, covered in sweat, said his goodbyes and left the stage. He didn't even play Piano Man, so we knew better.

He took the stage again for his first encore to introduce Sir Paul McCartney. OK, this was the loudest noise I think I've ever heard. Paul looked great and I've never been to a Paul McCartney concert, so, being a lifelong Beatles fan, this was pretty damn exciting. The closest I ever got was a Ringo show at Jones Beach in the early 90s. He did I Saw Her Standing There and rocked the house. The Beatles opened Shea Stadium and now Paul was at the final show. How cool is that?!

Billy played another song and then left again. Still no Piano Man. He looked so red and swaety and tired, I was beginning to think he wouldn't do it. But this was it. This was the last ever performance at Shea and perhaps the last ever of Billy himself at a venue like this...

Finally, He took the stage again, harmonica in mouth and performed his signature song, Piano Man. I've seen Billy play several times before and I know he lets the audience take a chorus at the end, but imagine all of Shea Stadium, 60,000 people, all singing sans music, the chorus of Piano Man. It was transcendent. Wow. It was over and it was thrilling.

Then Paul came back out to perform Let It Be. Are you serious? Yeah man, Paul McCartney closed the show. The Beatles opened Shea and Paul McCartney closed it. And I was there. It was magical and I know that I will, in the future, tell people that "Yeah, I was there. The FINAL SHOW. I was there."

I finally got home around 3:00am, coated in dried sweat and grime and unloaded of tons of cash ($4.25 for a bottle of water???).

3 hours in the hot hot summer night with Billy Joel, Roger Daltrey, Steven Tyler and Paul McCartney and it was the best concert I've ever seen.

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:32:00 +0000

Racial Sensitivity and Black People

Let's make one thing perfectly clear. I am not racist. I have nothing against people of another color. It's unimaginable to me that blacks and whites were not allowed to use the same facilities in my parents' lifetime.

I'm all for racial equality. What I'm not OK with is this backlash. Black people have called themselves all kinds of things in the past and the one that seems to be the safest right now is African-American. I refuse to use that term. African-American implies that that person's heritage is rooted in Africa but now lives in America. Nelson Mandela is not African American. He's African. Ziggy Marley is not African-American. The Jamaican custodian who works in my school is not African-American. He's Caribbean-American. I don't want to have to do research. You might argue, "Why refer to their race at all?" Because you know what? Sometimes I might need to. I might refer to the fact that he's black. Or bald. Or tall. Being black is not a secret. Black people know they're black. Why can't I mention it? I'm white. So?

There's a story that just came up that burns my ass. In Dallas, some county commissioner was talking about how traffic tickets were being lost. He mentioned that it was like "a black hole." The two black people in the room got offended. Seriously. They said it was racially insensitive. They compared the term to "Jewing someone down" in terms of inappropriateness. "Jewing" someone down is a term based on a stereotype and can be considered offensive. Calling something a black hole is not because a black hole is called a black hole because light doesn't reflect off of it, so it is...BLACK...that is, devoid of light.

Now there's a whole other issue. I've even seen a kid's book called something like, "Is everything black bad?" I can understand that. Black hats, black hearts...if you're growing up black and keep hearing all these things that are also black being described as bad, you might make a connection.

So, fine, maybe it's time to eliminate the word black to describe Negroes. Maybe it's time to use a more scientific word. Let's see, the scientific word for whites is Caucasian and they seem OK with that...the scientific word for African-Americans is Negro. Or better yet, come up with a new word that hasn't been tainted yet. Like Troont. "We're a mixed marriage. I'm White and she's Troont." Is that offensive? I think not. It's just really weird.

And another thing. I love blues music. I like some reggae. I think Jimi Hendrix was the greatest electric guitar player ever. Richie Havens' performance at Woodstock was incredibly moving. Sharon Jones, Etta James, Jimmy Scott, Miles Davis, Guy Davis, Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley and probably more are all on my iPod. But if I say I hate rap music and detest the hip-hop culture, I might be called racist, and in fact, have been.

The sensitivity police are out of control. Can my kid play with a black crayon? My 6 year old describes people as having brown skin or peach skin. I never taught him that. He sees it with his own eyes. I never taught him the right terms: "African-American and white." He calls it likes he sees it. I encourage that. He told me of a girl "with brown skin" at camp who was sad because no one would be friends with her, so he sat down with her. That was incredibly sweet. Is he racist because he saw that she had brown skin? Hardly.

It's getting so I can't use my favorite joke anymore:
"I like my coffee like I like my women..hot and black!"

Now I just say:
"I like my coffee like I like my women...hot and sweet...with a spoon in them."

It still works, but in a different way.

Now this is not directly related, but it goes along with all the knee-jerk reactionary stuff. Obama's goddamn New Yorker cover. if you haven't seen it, the cover of a magazine shows a drawing of Barack Obama in the White House Oval Office, dressed as the Taliban with a flag burning in the fireplace and an Osama bin Laden poster on the wall, fist-bumping his Black Panther wife.
The cartoon was obviously pointing the ludicrous things people believe and are saying about the Obamas. The New Yorker is, in effect, saying sarcastically, "Yeah right, this is what they're like...sure." To say it another way, they were satirizing the people who are calling the Obamas Mulsim and unpatriotic.

But people, being people, got upset. They took it literally. They think that if you show Obama as a Muslim, no matter the context, then you think he's a Mulsim and are trying to tell the world that he is Muslim. If you put a poster of bin Laden on a magazine cover then you are promoting him and pissing on the memories of those who died on 9/11. Rarely have I seen such unanimous misunderstanding. People do not understand subtlety and nuance. People are thick and superficial.

Take the recent rash of "parody movies"...please!
Formula: Take a bunch of right-now-popular-and-current movies and celebrities, string references of them together and throw in some crude slapstick humor and you've got a movie. "Superhero Movie", "Date Movie," "Disaster Movie"... One of these movies (I don't know which) features a scene parodying the movie 300 where the Ancient Romans are battling and then suddenly Britney Spears arrives, shaving her head. Get it? Or another in which Gandalf tells Frodo not to throw away the ring and Frodo turns around and kicks him in the balls. Satire at its finest. This is what I'm saying. People don't do subtle. Show them something titillating so they remember it, and then show it to them again in a different context and they'll jump and clap because they recognized it and that passes for clever.

I mean, I'm a smart guy. Not physicist-smart, or even street-smart, but reasonably intelligent. But I often feel like I'm smarter that most of the country. That can't be true, can it?

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 01:19:00 +0000

THE APOCALYPSE

I'm sure this happens all the time throughout history, but I'm beginning to fear that the end of the world as we know it is approaching.

I just read a cute little book called Life As We Knew It. I thought it was a cool science-fiction book about the moon crashing into the Earth, but it turned out to be more about how life would be if a natural catastrophe wiped out a good percent of the population. The book is told in the voice of a preteen girl's diary. It was pretty girly and all, but it did show the lasting effects of contaminated water, unpredictable weather patterns, no electricity, mass hysteria and general human survival instincts. Not a fantastic book, but pretty good. When I was done with it, I realized it had a lot in common with The Road, a book I blogged about previously. Although, The Road is bleak and relentless and told so well that you feel as if it has already happened. Both books feature a natural disaster wiping out most of civilization and electricity and any sort of public works or police force. It's harrowing.

Next, I rented The Mist, based on a Stephen King story. Good story, good movie. Basically it was a typical horror film, but it supposed the concept of being trapped in a supermarket with no help from the outside. What do you do? How do you survive? It seemed like a similar theme from the book I had just read, so I went out and re-read The Road. It's still a powerfully depressing read.

I was then reminded of another book I read this year, called The World Without Us. This is a nonfiction book that basically shows how nature will take over if humans were to simply vanish. It cites places where this has happened and extrapolates. For example, without the teams of people working underground constantly, Manhattan would be flooded within a week. You really get the feeling that the Earth is letting us stay on her, but we're really starting to push it. It goes on to describe the plastic-eating bacteria that evolve in certain situations. It really makes one feel small and insignificant, but it also gave me hope that we're not going to literally destroy the planet. Ourselves, maybe, but not the planet.

Then I watched An Inconvenient Truth. Holy crap, people. If half of what this film predicts is true, then we are screwed. This planet cannot sustain this many people, not to mention the way our population and our pollution has exploded in the last 50 years. People are making this out to be a political issue, but I certainly remember hearing about global warming back in the 80's in school, and I'm sure it's been taught before then. This is not a new problem, and it's only getting worse. Then, right after watching the movie, Long Island had a really bad heat wave for 3 days. Now, everybody gets heat waves and we always have, but it really reinforced the point.

But imagine we take care of pollution and the population boom. Politically, we're screwed. The Middle East issue has also been around for years and years, but it's not getting better. It's getting much much worse. We were warned in the 70s to stop using fossil fuels, but we didn't. There is a finite amount of this stuff and we're using it up faster than ever. People don't believe that we'll ever run out, but we will, and in our lifetimes. That's what scares me. Right now, we depend on our enemies for our survival. That's a horrible position to be in. We've stirred up a hornet's nest and we've got millions of religious extremists who want to die in the process of killing us, PLUS they're sitting on our oil.

Please explain to me in simple English why we're not doing everything in our power to get away from fossil fuels. They pollute, they finance the Middle East, and it's goddamn expensive. But you know, if you told people that unless we all stop driving cars the Earth is going to spin into the sun, you would have thousands of people (mostly Americans) driving to work every day and politicians saying it's not economically feasible to our economy to prevent the destruction of Earth.

There is also a ton of information out there about the year 2012. Apparently this year coincides with a bunch of ancient texts and calendars and they all point to a catastrophe or something. I don't believe in ancient prophecies or to-the-day doomsday predictions, but I do find myself looking at the world situation and thinking, "How can we survive this? How is possible that I will die an old man with my children living good lives?" More often I find myself imagining a world where the oil has run out and we've done nothing to take its place, effectively crippling civilization and throwing the world into a Mad Max scenario.

Then, sometimes, I say to myself, "No, we can do it, don't worry" and this wave of relief comes over me. Well, I'll guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Oh, and did you see the new iPhones? They're so cool.

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 00:13:00 +0000

BROKEN TOE(?)

I was going to blog about some world news and stuff. You know, like the whole Obama/Clinton thing, or about Arthur C. Clarke's passing. But I decided that many more people with better resources have probably spoken about these things with far greater insight than I can ever hope to offer. So I bring you the crap in my own personal life.
I think I may have broken my little toe. I was walking barefoot in the basement when I accidentally kick the leg of a wood coffee table. It hurt. A LOT. It wasn't bleeding, so I basically ignored it. 12 hours later, I found it hard to walk on and running was impossible. The next morning, it had blown up and turned the purlpe of an angry bruise, and my foot had begun to change color as well. Everyone says that there's nothing you can do with a broken toe, so I'm just ignoring it at this point. It's uncomfortable, but not actively painful, unless I'm getting a shoe on or off. And I can touch it and bend it without too much agony. So, whatever it is, I've got it. All you amateur podiatrists can take a gander:

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 18:30:00 +0000

AWARD WINNING
I took this photo of my daughter in October of 2006. I submitted it to the Ritz Camera photo contest at my mother's nudging. Several months later, my wife calls me at work, sounding harried and frantic.
"Did you enter a photo of Allie in the bathroom to some contest or something?"
My mind races as I imagine what bad thing I did to warrent such fury. Finally I remember the photo and tell her that yeah, I did.
"Well you just won $500! You took first runner up!"
Turns out she was right. I actually got the registered letter from Ritz Camera requesting my tax information and I called them to confirm and it all adds up. I am actually an award-winning photographer!

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 03:02:00 +0000

CELESTIAL PHOTGRAPHY

I took some nighttime photos tonight, using a tripod and keeping the shutter open for the longest the camera would allow (30 seconds). I was able to capture my favorite constellation, Orion.
Click the images to see them all big and pretty.

You can clearly see the yellow and blue shoulders, the blue stars that make up the belt, the dagger hanging down from his belt, and the two lower stars, suggesting his legs.

This picture shows the streaking caused from keeping the shutter opened so long. The Earth is rotating, causing the smear effect.

In Photoshop, I simply clicked "Auto levels" and got this amazing daytime-like result:

And finally, here is the moon, lording over the infinitely brighter, but inconceivably further, stars.

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 14:29:00 +0000

THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE

This has been a fairly exciting race so far. Right now I'm rooting for Barack Obama. I don't really think he'll win, but stranger things have happened (see '00/'04).

I'm frankly surprised that Rudy Guiliani has gotten as much support as he has, but encouraged to see him in dead last place. He stamps out strip clubs and "offensive" art and has a general temperament of dismissiveness. He is a slimy hypocrite who claims himself a Catholic, yet has affairs and gets divorced. He is against abortion...sort of...sometimes...His evoking of 9/11 is the stuff of legend and is the sleaziest kind of rabble-rousing. That said, I'm glad he's not going to be the Republican candidate because there are a whole lot of people who think he's a good, strong man who actually did something on 9/11 and will whip those bad guys into shape. These same people HATE Democrats and Rudy is the anti-bleeding heart liberal.

I just never understood people who thought we were lucky to have had Bush and Giuliani in office on 9/11. Bush could have prevented the attacks had he cared to and Giuliani's deafness to the Fire Department's pleas for better equipment would have saved hundreds of lives.

So right now Mitt Romney is doing well. He's the weirdest of the Republicans. I mean, on the Democrats' side, we've got a woman, a black man and John Edward in the forefront. The Republicans are, for the most part, standard Republicans. But Mitt Romney is a Mormon, which is not a woman or a black man, but still freaks people out. I mean, the religion is like a hundred years old or something. People don't like that. And he wears magic underwear. Personally, I don't care about the magic underwear. I think it's silly, but I think most religious affectations are silly (yalmukas, ashes on the forehead, turbans...). Romney has been defending his religion as well as his religiosity. He claims the Bible is the word of God and believes it in full. He thinks abortion and stem-cell research is WRONG and he wants to defend the sanctity of life. And yet he supports the death penalty. He believes Osama bin Laden should die for his sins. Doesn't the Bible say something like "thou shalt not kill" and "turn the other cheek" or something like that? Not being religious, I simply detest people who use the Bible to support the things they already agree with, but ignore the things that don't jibe with their desires. I suppose this dichotomy can apply to each candidate, on both sides, because our presidential hopefuls have to seem religious in order to get respect from the population at large. And nobody lives their life strictly in adherence to the Bible. If they did, they'd be too freaky to get elected. But not religious enough? Also too freaky.

Ron Paul is a force unto himself. He's really a Libertarian, not a Republican. He opposes most of the government's intervention into people's lives. He opposes the war wholeheartedly. And yet he wants abortion made illegal and stem cell research stopped. He doesn't support the party line that we were attacked on 9/11 because "they hate our freedom." There's a great clip from a debate in which Ron Paul explains that we were attacked because the Islamic fundamentalists hated our interference in their part of the world. Of course, Rudy G plays up the 9/11 card by responding with "As someone who was attacked on 9/11, I can't believe you would say it was our fault!" I happen to agree with Ron Paul on a lot of things. I think the country is spoiled. We expect the government to take care of us completely, as if it had infinite resources. There comes a time when sacrifice and personal responsibility should take root. He also wants to legalize medical marijuana and eliminate the death penalty. He opposes the gay marriage ban and wants the Patriot Act eliminated. I can see why people like him. Yet he wants prayer in schools. On the other hand, he wants to bring all our troops home and eliminate our military presence around the world, while eliminating the income tax completely. Considering the other Republicans, I think I'd like to see Ron Paul run against a Democrat. It wouldn't be such a crushing blow to lose to him. But he ain't got a chance in hell.

Mike Huckabee is a Baptist minister who opposes gay rights, gay adoption, abortion, stem cell research and pornography. He doesn't believe in evolution and wants the 10 Commandments displayed in all public schools. He wants AIDS patients quarantined from society. He thinks the war needs to continue in earnest and George W. Bush has been an excellent president. 'nuff said.

McCain is a fairly traditional conservative Republican. He wants the 10 Commandments in schools and believes schools have the right to decide if Creationism should be taught. He opposes abortion, except in the cases of rape and incest. He wants the war to go forward and thinks diplomacy is overrated. He thinks gay rights issues should be state-by-state issues, but he'd be fine with a gay president. He wants to ban flag-burning and thinks the Confederate Flag is a perfectly acceptable symbol of heritage. He wants to see the death penalty used more often. He wants to see us be independent of foreign oil in 25 years and wants to drill in Alaska. He wants stronger drug penalties. He is, in essence, a Reagan Republican...which we sure as hell do NOT need right now.

Now, Hillary Clinton is going to be the Democratic candidate. I think that's a pretty safe bet.
She is the typical Democratic candidate. She supports gay rights and gay unions with full benefits. She supports abortion rights. She claims to be religious and a Bible-reader, but doesn't brag about it. She believes the war in Iraq is wrong, but doesn't want to simply pull out. I believe Hillary is very similar to Bill in that they are both liberals but are willing to play the game and compromise easily. I also think Hillary is less charismatic than Bill, but the whole "first woman president" thing gets a lot of people excited. Though I imagine it pisses a lot more people off. If she runs, I will support her, but it won't be in earnest. Most likely it'll be to make sure the other guy doesn't get in...same as I did with Kerry last time.

John Edwards has barely made a blip on the public's radar. Yet he has some strong opinions. Similarly to Clinton and Edwards, he supports gay rights and abortion rights. He believes the war is wrong and we should get out. He wants a strong military, but feels it needs to be used better. He's a Methodist, like my wife. I know from experience that Methodism is a very laid-back and private religion. It's the kind of religion that I'd prefer my president to be, if he had to be something. He is strongly on the side of public schools as well as gun owners. If Hillary was out of the picture, I'd say Edwards would be the way to go. I say that because I think Obama will have a lot of extra hills to climb, being an outsider as well as a black man. I think the top 3 Democratic runners are worthy, but I think Edwards would have the easiest time getting his work done.

Barack Obama is a young guy who grew up hard. He was poor and black in America. He has risen above all that. He grew up aware of religion, but not immersed in it. He was exposed to both Christianity and Islam through his schooling, but was not enrolled in a madrassah, as Fox News would have you believe. He has always opposed the war and supported gays and abortion rights. Like any serious candidate, he is realistic about some things. He knows, for example, that America is not ready to accept gay marriage, so he has focused more on legal unions with benefits. Again, this is compromise. I just believe that Obama truly believes in bringing his goals to fruition and is ready to change a lot of things in government. I think Clinton and Edwards would try as well, but are too "of Washington" to really bring this country back to its former glory. Maybe I'm being naive. I guess we'll see.

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 03:01:00 +0000

MOVIE WRAP UP
I've seen two noteworthy movies in the last month: I Am Legend and No Country For Old Men.

1. I AM LEGEND
SPOILERS

I Am Legend is a vampire/zombie movie about the sole human survivor, a brilliant scientist living in Manhattan who spends his days trying to come up with a cure. Will Smith is really good in it, even if he is a little too sassy for a scientist who has seen the world die around him. But he carries the film and he does it well, not very unlike Tom Hanks in Cast Away. My problems with the film stem from the familiarity of it all. We've seen this stuff done before. Admittedly, this was shot and acted well. It was never boring. But I walked away feeling nothing.

The movie is based on a 60 year old book of the same name. The book was made into two movies previously, both with different titles. This remake retains the title, but completely changes the context of it! In the original book, the survivor, Robert Neville, spends his days killing vampires, who eventually evolve and take over the world in a new civilization. They regard Neville as a monster and kill him. His name becomes legend to the vampires, because he is like Dracula is to us; that is, a legend. In the new film, Neville cures the virus that causes the vampires and becomes a legend for saving the world. Blech.

So basically, my opinion is that it was a well-made movie with a sucky ending that could have been so much better if it was true to the book. It's good, but not worth the hype.

2. NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

This is also based on a book, but one that I had not read. I am a Coen Brothers fan, but feel they've hit their peak and now just coast on fumes, a parody of their former glory. This movie reaffirms my love. This movie was written well, acted amazingly and directed perfectly. Except for the end.
The problem is that the film is full of symbolism and the actual plot is secondary. The story involves a drug deal gone wrong and a hunt for the stolen money. But it's much more than that. It's about the slide of humanity. It's about how things are getting worse. It;'s about the unstoppable force that is pushing our civilization to its brink. This all becomes clear in a tone-shifting, momentum-retarding final act that drags the whole thing down to a crawl before ending abruptly. That's my only complaint. The dialogue was excellent. The movie had me grinning with excitement all the way through until the aforementioned ending. I wasn't excited at the action, per se, but at the brilliant filmmaking.

I am now reading the book. It's pretty great. The dialogue I loved so much from the movie came right from the book, part and parcel. The movie is a very accurate retelling of the novel. As of right now I think I like the movie better, but I think the book is great, too. It's by Cormac McCarthy. This is the second book of his I've read. The first was The Road and it blew my socks off. I may have to investigate his other works.

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 03:01:00 +0000

MOVIE WRAP UP

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 02:59:00 +0000

WAR IS OVER if you want it

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 13:46:00 +0000

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 15:43:00 +0000

Having children 30 years after being one myself is a strange sensation. There is a tendency to see yourself in your child and a desire to recreate all your favorite things from childhood for your child. I want my kids to play with Star Wars action figures, watch Magic Garden, and get goose bumps when Charlie Brown specials come on TV.

Unfortunately, that was 30 years ago and that was me, not them.

I have fallen into the trap of trying to recreate my childhood. I got so excited when I was able to see Magic Garden on tape for the first time in 25 years. Now that I’ve seen it, I can still marvel at how good it was and what it meant to me as a child, but every viewing of it diminishes the magic it held when I hadn’t seen it. The same goes for Marlo and the Magic Movie Machine, a children’s show from the 70s that I recently found on YouTube. It was great to watch again, but it tarnished the magic of remembering it. This pattern repeats in my life over and over again: Sesame Street, Electric Company, Muppet Show, etc. I have given up buying these old DVDs of my childhood memories. I show my kids the old Sesame Streets and Electric Company episodes, but it doesn’t mean anything to them. Their childhood memories will be of Blues Clues and Dora the Explorer. Unfortunately, the 21st Century TV-watching child knows about VHS and DVD and On-Demand. There is nothing special about a TV program anymore. Dora the Explorer recently had a prime-time special. We gathered around the TV and watched it, and the next day my daughter asked to watch it again. And the next day and the next day. She couldn’t grasp that it was a television program that aired and is no longer airing. She is used to things being on tape or DVD and constantly at her disposal. It cheapens the program, in my opinion. There is no more magic in watching a Charlie Brown special, when you know you can get the DVD and watch it any time you want.

In my day, Charlie Brown specials were once-a-year events. They always began with that SPECIAL animation that made you think, “Aw yeah, we’re in for some shit now!” The specials also had those only-during-Charlie-Brown-Specials Peppermint Patty commercials. They also had bumpers: “We’ll be back with It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown after these words…” They no longer do any of that. Now when Dr. Phil’s credits end, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving simply starts running, with TV-G and ads for Mr. Magorium’s Magic Emporium all over it. And when it’s an act break, it simply starts showing a commercial. It’s incredibly jarring and depressing.

Another problem with showing kids stuff from my past is that it’s no longer appropriate to do so. The DVDs for Sesame Street and Electric Company make it very clear that these shows are of their time and should not be used to educate and entertain today’s children. We also have the 1933-1938 Popeye DVD set. That also plainly states that the cartoons on the set are for adult collectors, not children. I am so sick and tired of this crap. Today’s kids’ shows are all crap. Electric Company and Sesame Street used to be made by people who loved and respected children. Kids’ shows are now made by toy companies and computer animators. Nothing against good computer animation (see Pixar), but today’s animation shows characters vaguely representing the movements of real people. In the 70s and 80s we had terrible animation, too (see Justice League, Transformers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), but we also had Looney Tunes, Woody Woodpecker and Tom and Jerry on all the time. Cartoons from the 40s, 50s and 60s that were made by people who loved their work.

I don’t understand the hypocrisy of a society that tells us Sesame Street is for adults, but goes out of its way to endorse the potty humor of Shrek and a re-interpretation of Alvin and the Chipmunks, in which the main characters get horny and eat each other’s shit (Not that the two go together….they are separate things in the new movie!) I don’t understand why Popeye is not appropriate for children, but every single kids’ movie now has fart jokes and worse. Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles had to fight to keep their fart scene in a Rated R movie. Now he could market Blazing Saddles as a kids’ movie.

On the other hand, I guess I should be glad that Popeye, etc, is being made available in its original, unedited state. All too often, history is re-written. Disney’s Fantasia, Star Wars, E.T., innumerable Looney Tunes classics, have all been cut and edited to fit today’s standards. And yet, shitting, farting gangsta chipmunks….bring ‘em on.

It’s very true that, as a parent, you need to watch what your kids are watching. Besides the antisocial, vulgar stuff that crops up on TV, there’s the insidious religious stuff. I say insidious because it’s hidden. At this point, most people know Veggie-Tales is a Christian cartoon. It’s not just “oh, be nice to everyone.” It’s “Make sure you pray to Jesus and read the Bible.” Most people know this already, but it’s certainly not marketed as religious programming, and it’s not obvious. It takes watching 20 minutes before you say, “Hey, wait a minute!” I recently had the TV on for the kids while working around the house and I flipped on a new show called 123-Penguins. It’s about space penguins. Good enough. And then at the end, the characters all bowed their heads and prayed to Jesus Christ. What the hell?! I have no problem with religious programming, but just as I want to know that my kids’ shows may contain violence, adult situations and, you know, shit-eating…I want to know that it’s going to be used for religious propaganda.

My son also likes to play a game he found on the computer called Super Chick Sisters. “It’s like Super Mario Brothers!” he told me. Finally I saw the game. It’s a PETA-designed corruption of Super Mario Brothers in which you learn about the horrors of KFC and how beaks are ripped off chickens, etc, etc and you have to defeat the evil Colonel Sanders (I kid you not). Now, I’m not necessarily against the message of the game. I’m against the insidiousness of it. It’s made so kids will want to play it and then be exposed to their propaganda against their will, as it were.

I recently read a book about a society that devalues knowledge and in which the government keeps the public in the dark about an upcoming war, which they don’t care about anyway, since they’re all watching giant interactive TVs and listening to music on tiny little ear buds. The book was Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 from over 50 years ago. It’s scary how relevant it is. It is an amazing book that I recommend to everyone. I just saw the movie, too…not terrible, but too hyper-stylized to be effective.

Anyway, my point is that in the book, they tell how it all started with political correctness:
"... Ah, Robinson Crusoe. The Negroes didn’t like that, because of his man, Friday. And Nietzsche. The Jews didn’t like Nietzsche. Now, here’s a book about lung cancer. You see, all the cigarette smokers got into a panic, and so, for everyone’s piece of mind, we burn it ... You see ... we’ve all got to be alike. The only way to be happy is for everyone to be made equal, so we must burn the books."

So which way are we going? On one hand we have ultra-edited, censored classic entertainment and on the other hand we have uncensored, crass, vulgar, antisocial entertainment. Neither option is very appealing.

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 01:52:00 +0000

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE IS GAY

I consider myself a suporter of gay rights. I'm no activist, but only because I'm too lazy. I think it's deplorable that gays are not allowed to get married
That said, I think J.K. Rowling's recent announcement that Albus Dumbledore was gay is head-shakingly stupid. Now, in addition to supporting the gays, I am also a big Potter fan. I think the depth and scope of the septilogy is staggering. But no right-thinking person could read that book..the LAST book, mind you...and pick up the super subtle hints that Albus was gay. They make mention of a boyhood friendship that turns sour. There is no mention of love per se. I mean, if he was gay, then SAY so in the BOOK! I'm not upset that a main character is gay. I'm upset that it feels like tinkering with the past, a la Lucas and Spielberg. I feel like she was trying to get a sympathetic gay character in there, but was either too scared or too unsure of herself to make it blatant. Now that the books are out there and she's done, she feels comfortable with expressing what she had in mind. Well, too late, lady! The characters in a book, and the story for that matter, belong to the author first, but us second. I think it's great that there's more to these characters than is on the page. There's subtext, there's backstory, there's depth. But I don't want Spielberg coming out in a interview saying, "Yeah, Indiana Jones was raped as a boy by his uncle, which is why his relationship with his father is so strained." That adds a completely unnecessary twist and subtext to my experience. If that fact about Indy's past was so important, then it should have been in the films.

So, in my opinion, if Jo Rowling felt so strongly about making Dumbledore gay, she should have made it clear he was in the storytelling. This raises another problem for me, though. This was all brought up in the last book. It's a bit of a shocking revelation to have Albus Dumbledore, the greatest wizard in the world, revealed as a homosexual. It would be too out of left field and cast a shadow of the other goings-on. Froma strict story-telling aspect, I think this whole gay revelation should have been a deleted scene, or a subtext left buried. I mean, if it was some sort of PAYOFF to reveal he was gay, that woul be a better. Like, if you were to go back and re-read the books and pick up all these things you missed before that now add a new dimension to his character and the story as a whole, I would have no complaints. But this feels too tacked-on.

But now there's another aspect of all this that fascinates me. J.K. Rowling has announced that in all 7 of the Harry Potter books, unbeknownst to all of us, Dumbledore is gay. We gasp and say, "We had no idea!" What would happen if tomorrow, JK Rowling announced, "I was just kidding, no one's gay!" Would that suddenly make it true? Would we all say, "Oh you fooled us!" Does she really have that much control over these characters once she's closed the door on the story? At what point does she lose control over the characters. Do the characters' stories continue to exist as long as she tells the story? What if she dies and her daughter begins to write stories about Harry Potter. Are those stories "genuinely" about Harry Potter, or do they become sort of "what-if" scenarios. Do the stories merely exist on the page, or are they truly part of J.K. Rowling's continuing existence? My feeling is the story is over when the story is over. People (including myself) want to know what exactly happens to the gang when they grow up, because it's not explicitly explained in the story. The answer is there is no answer. It's not like this really happened and we just missed it. If it's not in the story, it's not part of the story. Simple. Yet infuriatingly unsatisfying. Any more she may add to the narrative at this point is completely unreliable as far as I'm concerned. Of course that sounds silly and petulent, but I feel like my past experiences are being tampered with and I am insulted by that.

J.K. told us Dumbledore is gay, and so we must accept that that's the story she had intended and for whatever reason, neglected to let us in on it. I think that fact detracts from the story, but certainly doesn't negate anything in it or contradict anything. I think the whole "gay" thing is a big nothing, but the fact that it was brought up after the fact bothers me.

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:06:00 +0000

I got some complaints that my posts are getting depressing. Here are a couple of funny pictures to soothe you all.

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:15:00 +0000

A brochure from 1984:

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 01:29:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 01:07:00 +0000

THE BLACK CLOUD
As a rule, humans find patterns in almost everything. We tend to lump similar things together, even if we don’t do it consciously. Take, for example, the concept of a “bad day.” A man wakes up, takes a shower, gets dressed, drives to work, works all day, drives home and goes to bed. Now, one day, his shower turns cold at the end and his shoelace breaks as he’s tying his shoes. He might not notice these things, or he might suspect that there’s a “bad day” coming. On the way home from work that day, he dings his fender. Now he’s got three bad things that happened that day. He may very well complain that NOTHING has gone right today.
This happens to me all the time. Some unfortunate things will happen and I will collect them together in my mind and say to myself, “How can I possibly be so unlucky?” Then I remember the words of Penn Jillette: “Luck is probability taken personally,” and I stand back and look at things again. I am relatively healthy. I have a wife who loves me and two beautiful, smart children. My family is healthy. I have a roof over my head. I have a job. I have excellent health insurance. We have two cars, one of which is a minivan. The list goes on. I try to realize that I have many things in my life that millions of other people do not. If the hypothetical man from earlier woke up late, took a shower that scalded him, slipped on the soap and twisted his ankle, spilled hot coffee on his shirt which stained it just in time for his performance review and promotion meeting, which he then lost, totaled his car on the way home and ended up in the hospital with no insurance and then finally returned home to find it had been burglarized and set on fire…well, then maybe you could objectively say he was having a truly “bad day.”
I am having a proverbial “bad day.” But my day has been lasting for months.
Again, I could list all the good things in my life. But the catastrophes seem to be pushing their way to the forefront lately.
Early in the Summer, our ejector pump broke. An ejector pump is a plumbing device that pumps water from below ground level up to the sewer or septic tank. One night, our pump got clogged and burned out, leaving gallons of sewage and washing machine water to flow freely out over our basement. We had to spend several hundred dollars to fix the pump. Then we had to clean up the basement. This involved ripping up the carpet and padding and throwing out a bookcase. We eventually decided to spend the money and replace the entire basement carpet. This involved moving almost everything out of the basement and up into the rest of the house. Our house is cluttered enough without another floor’s worth of crap. But we got the carpet done and slowly replaced everything to its rightful place. The whole wet basement situation brought to our attention that we have some places in the basement that might be growing mold. We got two different people to come in and investigate. One guy offered to cleanse and come down in bio-suits and clean and remove everything and wipe down every surface in the basement. The other guy said I should go to Home Depot and buy some plastic gloves and remove the moldy stuff myself. We put it off while we decided what to do.
Then my wife got into a freak car accident, in which she lost control of her minivan, hit an illegally-parked car, which then hit a utility pole. The car sat, undriveable, in the shop’s parking lot, for about two weeks while the insurance company made its assessments. We assumed the car would be totaled, but the insurance company said no. It took over three weeks to repair the van and ended up costing over $11,000. Meanwhile, we were renting another van, which was costing us money every day. Eventually the van was fixed. Then, out of the blue, we get a bill in the mail from the town where the accident occurred for $10,000 to repair the utility pole. A quick phone called revealed that the insurance covers that completely, but it was still an unpleasant shock.
A few weeks later, my car was hit in a parking lot by another driver who didn’t look as he pulled out of his spot. My driver side door is badly damaged and the fender and back door are also damaged. The guy said he’d bypass insurance and pay for it himself. I took it to my shop and the guy’s shop and they both estimated $3500. But, the guy said he’d pay for it, so I’m bringing it to his mechanic. Luckily I have my father-in-law’s car to borrow and won’t have to rent one.
Then, Saturday evening, I came downstairs after the kids went to bed and saw, to my horror, that the bathroom sink had been left running at full force for the last 2 hours or so, and the basement was now flooded. The bathroom floor was an inch deep in water, and the carpet in a 20 foot by 5 foot area was completely soaked. Apparently one of the kids washed their hands before dinner and forgot to turn off the water. I wet-vac’d for an hour or so while my wife made phone calls. A flood recovery company came the next morning, gave us a $2000 estimate, and proceeded to dehydrate the basement. We have 4 huge machines now, running 24 hours a day, creating heat and sucking moisture. The basement is like a furnace right now. Hot air is being blown under the carpet, creating a bounce-house effect. In addition, the guy was worried about mold, so is blowing hot air into the walls, via holes he drilled in the bathroom and a closet. Upon looking for water damage in the walls, he found some more mold that we weren’t aware of. He commented that the whole closet might need to be taken apart so the back wall can be removed.
Monday morning, we thanked the stars that we were leaving the house for the afternoon to go to a Labor Day BBQ. As we were getting dressed and showered, I kid you not, the TV in the bedroom died. It went black and started making a THUMPdump…THUMPdump sound, like a heartbeat. I mean, the TV is 12 years old, but of all the times to die it picked this week? We have a spare TV in our basement from 1988 that I helped my wife buy before we were even dating. So that seems to be working so far.
So, to summarize, we had to replace an ejector pump, had the basement flooded twice, cleaned the basement of sewage, wrecked both cars, and we are currently looking forward to a mold-removal nightmare, and are using a 20-year old TV.
I don’t believe in fate or karma. I truly believe that this is all simple chance occurrences. But damn, it’s hard not to see this all as one big dark cloud hanging over our heads.

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 14:45:00 +0000

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS

NO SPOILERS

As you know, I'm a Harry Potter fan. Not one of those insane people who dress up and visit the many HP fan sites and post with other fans, but I like the books and watch the movies. As if you did'n already know, the final HP book came out on Saturday, July 21st. I pre-ordered 2 copies from a local Border's book store and was told it went on sale at midnight and that I had to get a bracelet on Friday to determine when I would be on line for the actual book sale.
Luckily, I am off from work on Fridays in the summer. At 9:00am, I got to the store, so I could be the first one there to get a bracelet. Ha! The line was down the block! As I slowly made my way to the store, I passed several folding chairs and coolers. People had been camping out for hours, it seemed. I finally snaked my way into the store and then had to snake my way to the registration table. There, they checked my name and gave me an orange bracelet. I was told to make sure I was back before 11:00pm, because the doors would be closed at that point.

At 10:30pm I got to the store, not knowing what I was in for. There was a Kmart in the same shopping center, so I almost ditched the circus of Borders and tried my luck there. But in the end, I decided not to risk it. I went into the Borders and was greeted by a woman dressed as a witch who told me where to go and what to do. The place was freakin PACKED. I had time to kill so I made my way to the back, past the costume contest, past the raffles, past the jellybean-counting games, past the people dressed as characters from the books and stopped at the back, where the potheads and overwhelmed parents lay in the children's section.

Just when I thought I had time to relax, the announcements started. First, they came over the store's speaker system and then from employees with little megaphones. "We will begin lining people up at 11:15!" "We will be getting you into position by 11:30!" The employees were trying desperately to be heard over the din of muttering customers, but they eventually got their point across and we all shuffled, bovine-like towards the front of the store. As I said, I had an orange wristband. Other colors (green and purple) had to wait until we oranges had our books. "If you do NOT have an orange wristband, you MUST go to the back of the store until we call you!" It was hot in the store. The doors were closed and there were way too many people for the store's A/C to handle. People were hot, uncomfortable, nervous, excited and weary.

"Please show your wristbands!" a woman with a bullhorn called from atop the register counter. 150 orange-clad arms shot up like some sort of strange, silent "fight the power" rally. Another woman wove through the crowd checking individual arms and ushered out the one or two purples from the orange-only area. We oranges were stuffed into every free spot of floor in the front of the store. Then we were told to form a single-file line. We all looked at each other incredulously. Then the protests began. There was no way for this dense mass to suddenly organize itself into a line. The yelling went back and forth for about 15 minutes until the employees starting to direct traffic and get us in some sort of order.

There we waited. At five minutes to midnight, they started counting down the minutes and then the seconds to 12:00am. Periodically they would shout things like, "Are you ready for Harry Potter???!!!!" and the crowd would scream. I really enjoy the Harry Potter books, but this was ridiculous. I put my iPod on and waited to buy my book. As I moved forward, I could see people (mostly girls) holding the books they had just bought and hyperventilating or on the brink of tears. It was a little over-the-top. I finally got to the counter and asked for my 2 books, which I was quickly given. I must admit, the moment I actually saw my books was pretty exciting. I paid and put my iPod back on and walked to my car. I wanted to make sure no assholes drove by yelling, "Harry dies on page 400!" or some such. I did pass a car filled with screaming teens, all holding their yellow books out the window and screaming, but that was all.

I got home at 12:30am and began reading. I finished two hours later with 110 pages under my belt, and went to bed.

I got up the next morning and my wife had already read the first 85 pages of her book. She had gotten up early with the kids. At around noon, my in-laws came to take away the kids so we could have the house to ourselves. We planned to do nothing but read, unplugged from the TV, computer, radio and anything else that could inadvertantly let a plot point slip.

We commenced reading at around 12:30pm, 12 hours after I first started. My wife reads faster than I do, so I quickly lost the lead as she got 50 pages ahead of me. Then she took a nap. I seized this opportunity and read 100 pages past her in the 2 hours or so she was down. I woke her up for dinner. We got take-out. After dinner, we resumed. We periodically asked where the other was. "Page 426." "12 pages behind you!"

There was a space of time where we didn't know if we'd finish that night or not. I was still 40 pages ahead of my wife, but she was catching up quickly. Dinner was big and heavy and the story got a bit thick at one point. But then the book gained enormous momentum around 10:30pm and I felt myself wake up. I was turning pages faster and faster and I was less than 200 pages to the end. I was afraid I would gasp or make a noise to indicate something huge happening and I didn't want to spoil anything for her and vice versa once she passed me.

I retreated to the basement to finish. With 50 pages to go, I heard my wife. "You done?" She called down through thick tears. I told her I hadn't and stayed until I finally did finish. I didn't cry even a little bit. It was a good ending.

We stayed up for a while discussing the book, amazed that we did it in 24 hours. Well, 24 hours exactly for me (I finished at 12:30am on Sunday morning) but only a little more than 12 hours for my wife. Granted, I slept in those 24 hours, but still...

There's no point in reviewing the book. Either you know you want to read it or you know you don't. I thought it was great, with a few complaints that any finale is going to provoke. No ending is going to please everyone. But I think the Harry Potter series is an extraordinary achievement and don't envy J.K. Rowling's future. How could she possibly write another book and have it not be compared to Harry Potter?

So with Sunday unexpectedly open, we saw the 5th Harry Potter film. It was disappointing. The books are so rich and the films are so empty. Like the last movie, I felt like this one was an illustration of the book or a 2 and half hour trailer for the book. It hit all the major plot points but missed all the emotion and character development. It simply hopped from one event to the next without giving you enough time to care. That said, Helena Bonham Carter was excellent as Bellatrix LeStrange, and the character of Grawp was incredibly well done, I thought. Professor Umbridge was absolutely horrible in the book. She was so anger-inducing to read. I wanted to reach into the page and throttle her. In the film, she was barely irritating. All the films look great but anyone who judges Pottermania on the films just doesn't get it.

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 20:15:00 +0000

TYPOS
I just saw a great kids' book. Notice I put the apostrophe at the end of "kids," making it plural and possessive. That means the book is for kids, not a kid. Anyway, the book is called "The Greedy Apostrophe."

It's (it is) about a kind of job site for punctuation marks. The apostrophe gets a bit greedy and jumps onto all the signs, making them possessive instead of plural; SHOE'S, etc. I thought this was a fantastic book for children as well as adults. In my lifetime, the use of apostrophes has gotten noticeably worse, to the point that I am embarrassed. I often erase erroneous apostrophes with my finger if they're on a chalkboard or dry-erase board. I often tell store workers that their signs are wrong.

To be honest, I usually just roll my eyes at the hand-written signs, the garage sale signs and the like. But the "professional" mistakes get my goat big time. It's gotten way too easy to print signs and make professional-looking inkjet printouts. In the old days, it took lots of planning and craft to create a sign, so it was checked over several times by a professional who knew how to spell. When I see a car store sign that proclaims in huge letters: AUTO'S, I just want to scream. I mean, it's POSSIBLE the owner's name is Auto, making "Auto's" accurate, but I doubt it.

Thanks to our rapidly declining public school system and a society that equates caring with weakness, we are inundated with so much bad grammar that we get used to it. On more than one occasion I have found myself adding apostrophes where they needn't be. Now, OK, I can see goofing on "its" and "it's." But again, people who make signs for a living should know the difference! (IT'S always means IT IS. Everything else is ITS)

Sometimes it's sheer sloppiness that could've been easily fixed if the author had bothered to read over the text after it was written. Another issue is random capitalization. For example: Buy Two, get one free! Why would you capitalize Two?

I have been saving some examples of all kinds of this stuff, which I think I'll share now.

This is a scan from the local paper:

Did you catch the problem? Read the headline again. If a doctor can't be bothered to be accurate with his ad, I'm not taking any chances with him touching me.

This was taken at a local carnival.

OK, we all see the extra apostrophe, but what REALLY gets me is why the author felt it was OK to put an apostrophe after Oreo but not after zeppole. Continuity, people! If there were two mistakes, I would think the author believed the apostrophe was correct. To have one only means that he/she simply didn't care.

At a TGI Friday's:

Ok, the joke is that instead of happy hours, this place has ECSTATIC hours! Only they ruined it by misspelling ecstatic in big bold letters that probably cost hundreds of dollars to make.

Here's an ad from Labelle's, a camera store:

Not only did they perform the abominable "apostrophe/no apostrophe" blunder, but they misspelled PURCHASE, possibly the most important word to a retail outlet. Kind of like a head of state mispronouncing NUCLEAR...anyway...

Now, this next one is from the website of a horror movie, called "Captivity."

Grizzly images? Really? You sure you don't mean GRISLY? Or is this film rated R because of brown bears?

And now, the créme de la crème, a pizza restaurant in Baldwin, NY:

The cover of the menu:

Under new what? Do you mean MANAGEMENT? Not very encouraging. And minimum Order? Why is order capitalized?

The inside (my highlights):

Full Topping. Dude, pick a design, capitals or no capitals.

Christino Pie: More random capitalization. Do you want fresh mozzarella or Fresh mozzarella? Too bad they don't have FRESH mozzarella.

Jamaican Beef Patti. I dated her in High School. I wish! Maybe they mean patty?

I won't even go into the category of "charcoal."

second page:

At least they're consistent, but no apostrophes in "heroes."

The correct spellings are Powerade and Nestea Iced Tea. Powerade is a drink. A Power Aide is a superhero's assistant. And folks, it's ICED TEA, not ICE TEA. Tea that is iced, unlike ICE CREAM which is not ICED CREAM for whatever reason.

I was doing a search online for other apostrophe problems, but I ended up finding TONS of them, which is encouraging. I decided not to post all of them, but this one I felt was worthy of mentioning. It's from www.HenryTheThirst.com:

He writes:
i confess that i haven’t really mastered the apostrophe, that i was knocking on thirty before i realised that there is no apostrophe in ‘its’ unless you are abbreviating ‘it is’. i would rather write about clothes for children than childrens’ clothes or children’s clothes. but i DO know that when it comes to apostrophes they certainly shouldn’t be doing this…

but look at what’s happening; there’s a weird sort of maverick, punk-rocking logic behind it all. why is there no apostrophe at all in ‘ploughmans’?
well, that would mean two ploughmen, which would be silly, so no apostrophe there. i like making up words and i do it all the time but the chalkster here is like a wild west outlaw when it comes to punctuation. ride into town, rob the bank, shoot the sherriff, make your horse go WHHIHHIHIHHNN on its back legs and then gallop off while everyone is still picking their jaw off the ground.
“wha?”
“it’s THE TOAST’IES KID! yee hah!”

So keep your eye's open and if you find any mistakes, send them to me! (I did that last one on purpose!)

noreply@blogger.com (Rob) — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 01:06:00 +0000

ANTICIPATION

So, did you see the Sopranos finale? It's been talked about a little bit recently. And the one thing I noticed about everyone's review of it: Nobody said it was satisfying. Loads of people HATED it, and many people thought it was BRILLIANT and the rest were simply perplexed. But nobody said they were satisfied. Nobody felt a sense of completion. I'm not arguing that that's right or wrong, I'm simply examining the concept of anticipation.
If I've learned anything in this life...and that's a BIG if...it's that it's far better to want something than it is to get it. Everybody loved waiting for the Sopranos to end, but much fewer loved it ending.
At the end of July, the final Harry Potter book is coming out and I'm not above saying that I am SO excited! My wife and I are shipping the kids off to the grandparents' for the weekend so we can sit at home and do nothing but read the books. Part of the reason for this is so we can just soak, uninterrupted in Harry Potter's final epic story. The other reason is so that we won't be unwittingly assaulted with spoilers. People just love to give away the ending. They ruin the anticipation. Several years ago, when Regis Philbin still hosted Who Wants To Be A Millionnaire, we used to watch it religiously. One morning, I read in the paper that on tonight's episode, the contestant's special "phone-a-friend" guest would be none other than Rosie O'Donnell! Not that I'm huge fan of Rosie, but I was robbed of the surprise that the friend was not the guy's father-in-law, not his college roomate, not his little sister, but a celebrity. OK, granted, it's a little weak as far as shockeroo moments go, but it was the principle of the thing. I wrote to Newsday and complained. They published my letter under the title: NEWSDAY SPOILED HIS FUN. I admit the headline shamed me a little, but I still stand by my point of view.
Another anticipitory event going on right now is Apple's iPhone. People are lined up like crazy to shell out over $600 for a gadget. Luckily I have Apple stock, so I'm watching in anticipation of the stock surging! But why would you buy the first ones out of the gate? Let them get the bugs out, expand the memory and drop the price. The ipod started out as a 5gb, black and white-screened music player. Now, it's 80gb, plays movies, TV shows, podcasts and music in full color, for basically the same price as it was when it started 5 years ago. Imagine how incredible the iphone will be in 5 years.
My generation grew up with Sesame Street, Electric Company and Schoolhouse Rock. It was part of our collective DNA, just from growing up in the 70s with a TV in the house. I remember having this part of my brain reserved for fond memories of Sesame Street when it was great, and all these other shows, including The Magic Garden. All of these memories were only in my mind, becuase there were no VHS tapes or DVDs or reruns of any of these classic old shows. But thanks to new DVDs and Youtube, I've rewatched all my old memories in the context of my adult life. The idea of being able to watch an Electric Company episode again made me very escited. I couldn't wait until the DVDs came out. I followed every step of the process, from aonnouncement to cover art release to the actual DVD. I admit that I loved watching the episodes again, but I am now robbed of the childhood associations I once had with these shows. I still love for my kids to watch them because they are miles better than anything on TV now, but it's not a special part of who I am anymore.
There was a Simpsons episode many years back, in which a character bids on an item at an auction and then, upon winning it, says, "I have-a the buyer's remorse." I remember that was the first time I ever heard that phrase, "buyer's remorse," but I knew exactly what it was. How many times have I been driven insane with the desire to buy something, only to hold it in my hands afterwards and go, "...oh...." You get caught up in the wanting, but the getting rarely pays off. The wanting is a deliciious ache in your belly that is telling your brain that "this isn't over yet, there's more to come!" Once the event arrives, the path is closed. So it becomes time to anticipate something else.
My wife was searching and searching for an addition to our china pattern; some slicer or something. She finally found it online and couldn't believe it! She waited for the package to arrive and last week she got it! She opened it up and held it and went, "...oh...It's not that pretty." This is what I'm talking about.
Just think about how lame this blog post is. Then think about how insane you were going that I hadn't poisted in months! See? Even I will let you down if you want me bad enough! By the way, this is post 100. Whee!